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Behavior issues
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MENDEZWARD posted:
Having some behavior issues with my 10 yr old daughter. My daughter has one more year then she will be going to junior high, and she already is showing this pre-teen rebellious attitude. I want to break this before she gets any older. I try to discipline her, put her on punishment alot. I have struck her a couple of times and i really felt bad; sometimes it feels like she is not takening me seriously. I trying to avoid haveing a out of control child, and i sure as heck is trying to make sure my child does not end up pregnant at a young age. Just wondering what other things can i try?
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momuv4girls responded:
Hi,

When you have a strong willed child, sometimes a different approach is needed - especially if what you are doing isn't working.

Hitting, yelling and being out of control is counter productive to teaching a child how to act, and can make them rebel even further.

I highly suggest a parenting teens course / class for you, and/or reading some good parenting books.

I will paste some links for you to explore:

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Teen-Girl-Communication-Connection/dp/1608822133/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1347649726&sr=1-1&keywords=lucie hemmen

http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder&section=Facts for Families

Its great to explore different options and try to work with your daughter to create a clear plan, and let her know ahead of time of her consequences if she doesn't do something she is supposed to do.
It is hard work being a good parent, and that's great you reached out and are looking for alternative ideas.

Write back anytime, I hope some of this helps!
-Kathleen
 
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MichelleAve replied to momuv4girls's response:
I agree with above statement, hitting/yelling/losing your cool will never help control your child. If anything it will just give her an excuse to further rebel against you: "My mom is crazy and is always yelling at/ hitting me."
 
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Mendezward -

I am so sorry to hear you and your daughter are struggling, sounds like it's time to regroup and make some changes for both of you.

In addition to the advice you have received, I wanted to pass along a couple of resources. These are geared for teens but you can adapt for the behaviors you have noticed.

5 Teen Behavior Problems: A Troubleshooting Guide
Teen Girls' Health Center - You may want to go through this together, break the ice and have some discussions about how both of you are going to manage the preteen years.

Also, post your concerns with our Parenting Preteen and Teens Community for additional advice and support.

Please keep us posted about how you both are doing,
Elizabeth


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