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Calling step dad "dad"
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An_249906 posted:
I have 2 ds ages 9 & 5. Their father passed away when they were 7 & 3. I have been together now with my fiancé for about a year and he would really like for them to call him dad because he feels that they are just like his sons. They still call him by his first name and I, too, refer to him by his first name, not by daddy. They know that their father passed away and still refer to him as daddy. I am not sure what to do. I told them that they can call him whatever they were comfortable with. We also have a 5 month old dd together. When writing in school, they will refer to my fiancé as "dad". Also, my late husbands parents are a little bitter about our family life and I am not sure what they are saying when the boys are together with them. If they called my fiancé daddy in front of them I think things wouldn't go over so well. I need some advice. I don't want to push but my fiancé loves them like his own and would love it if they referred to him as "dad".
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fcl responded:
I think you've done the right thing by telling them they can call your bf whatever they're comfortable with. And I'd stop there. Stop worrying about what your ILs will think. Stop worrying that your bf wants to be called "dad". Your sons will use the name that they want to. Above all don't use pressure. If they're going to call him "dad" they will do so in their own good time.
 
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Roy Benaroch, MD replied to fcl's response:
Agree. Their bio-dad died not too long ago, especially in their eyes. They may not be ready to use that label again. This will take time, and pressure will not help.


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