Out of Control 12 year old: Is this normal!?
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RLW8277 posted:
I am posting about an on-going situation with my 12-year-old brother that's ripping our family apart. I am 25, and there's quite an age difference between the two of us. I moved back in with my parents in 2011 when my home was flooded and I became pregnant with my first daughter. His behavior has always been "off" but it's greatly escalated in the past year since my daughter's arrival. He's a very angry child by nature. Always has been since he was born really. His outbursts and temperamental attitude has now evolved into a constant negative mood, angry physical outbursts of cursing, screaming, crying, and slamming doors and breaking things. He speaks to my mother like a dog, shouting commands at her and expecting her to wait on him hand and foot like a servant. She makes his meals special, no matter whatever the rest of the family may be eating, serves him, pours his drinks, and cleans up his dirty dishes. This may not seem so strange, but he also has irrational fears. He's terrified to be alone and is mortified of the dark. So much Infact, she and my my father take times about standing in the bathroom with him while he bathes and uses the toilet. He will not even walk into his bedroom alone without them. If they fail to do this for him, he screams and curses. He is also disruptive in school, dosent take his studies seriously, refuses to do the work, and wants to just clown around. He ignores any authoritive figure. Lately he has taken to screaming and cursing at me. I know he harbors a deep jealously for my 13 month old for "stealing his attention" I can even do only so much as walk into a room with him and he flies into a rage, slamming doors and screaming. My parents know it's abnormal, but make excuses for him in my opinion. They say he has "aspergers" and "ADHD" but I'm just not convinced. I know people with aspergers or even on the spectrum and they don't behave like this. I think his issues are behaviorally rooted. Is this normal for a pre-adolescent with aspergers? Am I over-reacting here, because I feel like I'm losing my mind! How do you handle something like this? The older he gets the worse it seems to get and I am very worried for my daughters. Thanks!

-RLW
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