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MY 10 YEAR OLD WONT STOP SLEEPING IN HIS 9 YEAR OLD BROTHERS BED
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tlc1966 posted:
This has occurred off and on but over the last 12 months or so my 10 year old has been regularly sneaking into his brothers bed. He says he is scared. They had single beds which was really crowded. We tried to entice him by giving him a double bed and making his room more grown up, but he has gone straight back into his brothers bed when he thinks we aren't looking. We punish him by no electronics the following day, but that's not working. Yesterday after telling him we may have to make his punishment worst, he said okay and came up with a punishment on his own. I've explained to him how much harder it will be to get to sleep on his own each time he goes there but it doesn't seem to work. His brother even says you will be in high school soon and you still sleep with me. We've had no scary experiences, break ins or anything to frighten him. He has a radio to combat outside noises. I'm at a loss, please help....
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momuv4girls responded:
I think getting to the root of your son's reluctance to sleep alone would be a good idea.

Punishment isn't working - so how about finding a child psychologist who can work / talk with him about what is going on, and work on strategies to learn coping skills?

A good child psychologist will meet with you, your son (individually and together) to formulate a plan and understand why your son wants to sleep with his little brother.

A good plan should be based on positive rewards, not punishment and taking away things.

Take care!
-Kathleen
 
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tlc1966 replied to momuv4girls's response:
Thanks momuv4girls, happy to say that after reading all the other complaints about children sleeping with other people, the common denominator seemed to be inconsistency in allowing or denying this behaviour. I said to my son that night that as of today anytime he is found in his brothers bed he will be moved, anytime of the night and will find himself in a cold bed, being winter here. That night he slept by himself and with much praise and the promise of a book he wants as a reward if he lasts a week. It's been over a week with only one incident where he got in the bed and snuck out later. I think we have finally kicked the habit to the curb and we are incredibly proud of him. Woo Hoo


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