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How to model good anger management skills
blossom_dearie posted:
I am trying to model good behaviour for my young toddler, which is challenging because sometimes I am not sure myself how to behave properly. Anger management tends to be a tough one for me, especially with regards to momentary frustration. I tend to want to react physically (banging some stuff around, no actual violence), but I know this is not healthy and is potentially scary for my son to witness.

An example: I stayed up until midnight to make soup for my son's lunch. The next day I find out that my husband (SAHD) has forgotten the new soup, and given my son days-old soup for lunch. Obviously he didn't do this on purpose. When I realized this, I got immediately very frustrated, raised my voice at DH, and then banged around some spoons and stuff in the kitchen (not very loudly since DS was around). Then I was fine, my anger was released, and I moved on. My son did not seem to notice. However I realize that this is not appropriate behaviour. For example, if DH did this I think I would find it threatening, as he is a big guy. (Luckily DH does not seem to have much of a capacity to anger.)

How do you deal with this type of momentary anger, and can you suggest some good ways of getting out the need to vent physically, without scaring anyone? Would leaving the room and banging something in another room be better? (I'm not sure if that would even work, as part of the point of banging things around for me, seems to be to communicate to DH exactly how frustrated I am!)

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