Mother still babies 10-11 year old, is that normal?
My wife still babies her 10 year old boy going on 11. She dresses him, ties his shoes, cuts his food, blows his nose, etc. He constantly likes to walk in the room after he showers naked. He only eats chicken strips/nuggets, rice and pizza. refuses to try to eat other foods. I am his step father but i see problems with this issue. His mother knows she babies him but she rarely puts her foot down. He complains constantly when he has to go to the stores with us and is always on the ipad, nintendo dsi or televesion. even when he eats , does homework or even baths.... It seems way too much.. I feel like what I say doesn't work because he listens to her or complains when i set some kind of ground rule.. and my wife would once in a while take my side, but then goes back to baby-ing him.. did i mention he likes squishing or being too touchy feely (like rubbing her stomach or touching her butt, and rubbing her leg.) with her, and inappropriate checks out his mom?? seems really weird to me but please help!!
This does seem out of the realm of normalcy, but the reality is, you probably can't do much to change it.
For some reason, the mom feels the need to baby her son - maybe out of guilt, maybe because she feels he needs it....who knows.??
My best suggestion would be to find a really good LMFT, one who works with children and families. I would suggest to your wife that you all go in for family counseling.
Your wife may not want to change though - so its ultimately up to her to realize that she is enabling her son to be too dependent on her. I could guarantee that if this just goes on and on without professional intervention - that home life will get worse...for you all.
Good luck, its a tough situation. Take care, -Kathleen
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