My 7 y/o daughter only throws tantrums with family at school is an angel, helpful, polite the whole nine. At home she will flip if I tell her to do something more than once, if something on her tablet doesn't work, if her sister doesn't feel like playing with her, I am at my wits end!
From a mom who's daughter threw horrific temper tantrums - I totally GET IT ! I'm so sorry !! Big temper tantrums are draining and can seem to be triggered by something so small or insignificant to us adults - but there often is a deeper root for the child.
There is not a "one-fix" here or a simple solution. There needs to be a comprehensive evaluation of home-life, her behaviors since age 2 etc........
I will throw out a few basics: First, when the child begins to ramp up, cry, fuss....Ignoring her is key - don't raise your voice, yell, or engage in going-back-and-forth with her. Now this works typically if you are the only one dealing with it - if there are other adults home, you will need to tell them the same thing (preferably ahead of time), to ignore her. If safety is an issue though (if your daughter hurts herself or others, or throws things) then you may need to calmly, intervene.
Never spank or hit the child - - it reinforces violent behavior that they are most likely pron to.
Now depending on how severe your daughter is, and how disruptive your home life has become - it may be wise to seek out a Professional. That would be a really good Child Psychologist (not a therapist) to evaluate your daughter who can provide insight to her behaviors.
I feel for you, and know how hard it is to handle a child such as this. Write back anytime, and I am happy to offer you more support.
Thank you I also have an 8 year old daughter and have had no problems with her. So the ignoring thing , I sent her to her room for 10 minute time out the whole time she screamed for me to "come here I need you" she says that all the time when sent to her room. I did not go into her room until time was up very hard. Then later she freaked about a computer game I told her to stop 3 times then took away game and she kicked me! I am at a loss.....
This is a part of childhood development. You will have to look at your daughter from her perspective and reflect her feelings to show her you are trying to understand. Here is a related discussion. Hope you find some more ideas to deal with this. http://www.empoweringparents.com/managing-meltdown.php#
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