Parenting: Friends Talking Community

Hello,

I used to actively participate in the pregnancy group and now my daughter is 13 months old. When my daughter was 3 months old, my husband and I split and I moved across country to be with my family for support. So I've had a lot of change in the last year with a divorce, a new baby, moving, a new job, etc. I have tons of support and now live at home with my parents where Grandma takes care of my DD 3 days/week. I feel very fortunate given the circumstances.

Anyway my concern is that my daughter is now 13 months old - and healthy - and I have yet to feel that special motherly "bond" with my daughter. Isn't that bond - that undeniable love - supposed to be a given? I know many mothers that struggle with postpartum depression may go through a period feeling this way, but I always feel this way. I am on anti-depressants for anxiety and generally feel happy and positive but my daughter just annoys me.

Her cuteness makes me smile and laugh but that's the extend of my interest in her. Otherwise she's just annoying when she wakes me up (still!) 2-3 times a night and doesn't let me sleep in past 5:30am. Her neediness is exhausting. I don't feel like I love her.

Don't get me wrong - I consider myself to be a good mother. I am still nursing her, I never let her "cry it out", I cloth diaper her, and I only feed her fresh, organic foods. I play with her and buy her anything I think she likes. Money is not an issue.

I hope people can give constructive feedback and not hate me for feeling this way. It's a sad thing when you think you would breath a sigh of relief imagining her not in my life anymore. I don't want to feel this way but I do. I am searching for answers and advice - not judgement. I know I have issues which is why on I'm this forum.