Parenting: Friends Talking Community

I am very sorry it is a difficult time for you. I totally understand what you are going thru. I went thru the same thing. I got a divorce after 8 years and 1 child. I spent a few years alone and then i met my bf now who is the father of my 2nd. I remember feeling sad at times and how hard it was doing everything alone. However on the other hand i remembered when i was married i was doing everything alone too, which was part of the reason i got a divorce. you just have to keep your head up. Things happen for a reason and this too shall pass as my mom says. Have patience and look forward. Good luck you are not alone!!

I have a friend that is a single father of 2 kids. His oldest child is a girl and the youngest is a boy. My question to you is how do I tell my friend that he needs to explain to his daughter how to wash her private area? I am currently in charge of the kids care while the dad is in the field(military) and the lil girl needs to be cleaned within that area but when I go to show her how to, by doin it for her. She has refused to let me show or even help her with this due to the mom has nothing to do with the kids for crap. Can any single mom please help me with this topic? I am at the point of turning the dad in for not making sure that the kids have the proper care they need or bath. I am even at the point of goin to my kids doctor with the girl to have her checked for any infections within that area.

Thanks,

The babysitter

babysitter, just talk to the Dad and tell him what needs to be done. You can't take the girl to your doctor because you do not have legal custody and cannot dictate something like that. We teach our kids to not let ANYONE touch you in your private areas (except doctors). If the Dad in uncomfortable talking to his daughter about stuff like this he needs to get over it; have him talk to his Mom and let Grandma step in.

If you feel real unconfortable doing it face to face, try writing him a letter. My guess is he's completely unaware of what is going on.

II understand your situation,but my problem is a little different. My husband passed away 7mo. ago. Its hard to grieve because my 10yr. old is having problems adjusting. I cant even go to the bathroom without her following. I have no babysitter because my daughter has so much anger over her dad that shes angry all the time. any suggestions

I too, feel that being a single parent would be hard. But I am in the situation right now where I do everything by myself with 1 4 month year old daughter. I stay home with her everyday, and my boyfriend will come home, feed her once (maybe) and then hang out for a bit, eat, and go to bed. Then, on the weekends, it always seems like either Friday night or Saturday night, it is about him going out with his buddies. I feel this is very unfair. Even if I wanted to go out, he doesn't talk or even try to plan anything with me in advance. So- being a single mom can be tough, but it can also be even tougher being in a relationship and having to do it all on your own.

I am a single mother w/ a 22 month old baby girl. And yes it is hard. Even though I have help from my family (mom,dad, sisters brothers, her god parents/mothers) it still is very hard. But I have to say.... even tho some moms who do live w/ their husbands or baby;s fathers, they're no help at all neither. And it is very stressfull. Sometimes it's the fathers who are also the kids, who waits for the "MOMS" to cook, clean, laundry.. Well what I'm trying to say is, I do know what you're going thru. Keep moving forward. For me, I can't depend on any guy to help me, b/c what if in the future, he's not hleping me and I got used to him helping me out? I do try to do things on my own as if I don't have any help. Sooner or later, that's going to happen, so I try to prepare myself for that.

My daughter's father hasn't seen her for 14 months. I think I can safely say, he doesn't want anything to do w/ her. He probably thinks that Im the type of "MOTHERS" with drama, but I've been civil w/ him from the getgo. Maybe it's his gf who are putting bad things in his head. I've never stopped him from seeing her, but I never dropped what I was doing b/c he had 2 seconds (literally 2 seconds) to come see her. I'm not going to stop our daily lives b/c he has 2 seconds to come see her. We have our verbal agreement on visitations, and he gives me 5 minutes heads up that he's got 2 seconds to come and see her, is not worth our time. If he had given me enough notice, I wouldve said yes. And I told him, if he's going to be in and out of her life, meaning coming to see her every 3 months or never, then he might as well not bother.