Parenting: Friends Talking Community

Try setting an alarm to wake up around the same time as the kids. Or maybe put a baby monitor in their room so you can hear when they wake up. I know some people try those knob covers that require a certain level a dexterity to turn the knob to get the door open. But have heard mixed results on how effective they are. The 6 yo could probably bypass it.

I would also try and teach them that with independence comes responsibility. Establish house rules to make it safe for everyone. I don't think I would try and fight this, but put some boundaries so they can be independent without you worrying for their safety or the mess.

Can they let the dogs out and put them in the backyard? If they let the dogd out and the dogs go to the bathroom, make the kids clean up the mess. If they draw of the walls, make them clean it up. Can you put breakfast items to include bowls where they can easily reach? If they make the mess, make them clean it up.

I'd approach it this way: (1) set very clear rules as to what they can and cannot do when they are up early; (2) post the rules, using pictures if need be; (3) take some steps ahead of time to minimize the mess potential; and (4) make them responsible for cleaning up any messes they make. Under #3, I'm thinking you could plan out the night before what they will eat for breakfast, and have it ready for them - ex., cereal in lidded plastic bowls, which they can then pour milk into. Make sure their drawing and craft supplies are accessible.

Along with that, I'd set an alarm for a reasonably early hour - maybe not earlier then they care to get up, but early enough to take care of the dogs' needs.

I think that at your kids' ages, they are able to learn how to entertain themselves without destroying your house, but it may take a little time, patience and some consequences to get them to that point.

PP had some good ideas. My friend's daughter did this also, however she started doing it in the middle of the night and then goign back to bed. She put one of those door things on the door handle so she can't open it. i dont remember what it is called but you can still turn the door from the inside, but the kids shouldn't be able to figure it out. My friend said it worked like a charm from the beginning The first years is the brand but i can't remember what the door knob thing is called... but it wouldnt' be a safety hazard (i wouldn't think) because you can still open the door it's just not locked....

Your subject line says it all, in my opinion. You want young children to be little parents here and wake you and dad up? Really? You want to lock them in a room so you can sleep? How can they escape the room if you sleep through a fire/hazardous situation? What if one is sick and needs you? My suggestion is to get an alarm clock and wake earlier.

My big question is about whether they think that they are being ?helpful? or they are simply trying to get away with things that they can?t do when they know you are both around.

If they are simply trying to ?help? then this is actually not too hard. First of all, you need to sit them down and tell them that you appreciate that they want to help but that they need to help in a special way so that it will make everyone happy. Usually, small children love being able to have responsibilities (that are age appropriate), and will dutifully do them.

One of the things that I might say is that if they want to get up very early, that they need to check off their list of things to do. Instead of the destructive behaviors that you don?t like, give them an alternative. For example, have them make their beds, choose an outfit to wear for the day, and turn on the tv to specifically ?child friendly? channels. You can make a little list next to the TV so they know what channels are designated. If you don?t want them to have breakfast that early, then designate a ?morning snack? bin where they can choose ONE snack item (like a banana or apple) to eat.

As for drawing on the walls, once again, give them an alternative. Many children really benefit from having an easel with a big pad of paper on it. That way the kids have a large area to draw that is appropriate. They usually aren?t very expensive, and will make up in time and paint what you?ll have to cover up if they use the walls instead. I don?t really understand why parents seem to think that wall drawing is appropriate or okay. Your child would get in trouble for doing it at school, so why should they think it?s ok to do it at home?

Now, if the behavior is simply because they want to be little rebels, then this is much more of a discipline problem than a misguided attempt to help. If so, then you need to be very strict with them and let them know that this is not ok, and that you will have very specific punishments for each of the infractions. I always suggest writing out the rules so that you can be consistent. If they make a mess on the walls, they must clean it up and you get to hold onto all their crayons for a week and they can only use them when you?re watching them. If they let the dogs out of their rooms, then you will put the special ?hard open? doorknob covers on their doors for a week so that they can?t get out of their rooms until you get up. ETC. Make sure that they understand that the BEHAVIOR is the problem not THEM, and that they will be given more responsibilities and privileges once they prove that they understand how to act appropriately.

Other than this, I am suspecting that this if this behavior is intentional, then it is probably a cry for attention. Do you and your partner spend a lot of time with your kids or are they in daycare/ignored a lot? I highly suggest that even if you are tired after work and don?t have the energy to spend hours upon hours paying attention to your kids, that you NEED to set aside a specific ?kid time? where you listen to them and fully focus your attention on them. Even if you don?t get that time to vacuum or put the dishes away, it is essential that your children understand that they are valued and loved, and that they?re not just another exhausting thing for you to deal with at home. If you?re having too much of a problem setting this time aside, then you may consider using some of your budget to pay for some hired help (like Merry Maids) to get the housework out of the way so that you can focus on your children and having events or time to pay attention to them. Believe me, I know it?s a juggling act, but it?s VERY important for both yourselves and your family?s health to set aside ?family? time and let your children know that you won?t ONLY pay attention to them when they?re misbehaving.

I would be very concerned if all this was going on in the house and I didn't hear it! What if someone got hurt, or was sick? I wake up as soon as my kids make a rustling sound, but I know everyone isn't necessarily that way. An alarm to wake you up before the kids is really important.

What time are they waking up? I've found my kids woke up between 5:30 - 6:30 on their own until just recently (they are 6 & . If they consistently got up before 6:00 for several days in a row, I knew it was time to push back their bedtime.

I believe there is an alarm you can put on their doors that will go off when they open their doors in the morning. I know some ppl that have young children that put them on their patio doors that go outside to prevent the children from getting outside without them noticing. I don't see why you couldn't use them inside too.