Parenting: Friends Talking Community

Also: We had our first two close together and are wondering about the third because my husband is in the military. We are always moving and we wanted the kids to be close enough to play and enjoy each other's company. I didn't want them to get too lonely whenever we went to a new place. I worry if we wait too long for the third one our older kids will be friends but the younger will feel left out. But then being military is harder when you have kids because you have no family around to support you. No matter how quickly you make friends, it's not the same as family. I can't stop thinking about the idea of having a baby, but then I think "Am I crazy?" because things are so crazy now. And we are moving from Ohio to New Mexico in March and everything is going to be different.

4 girls.....20, 16, 4, 2. I think however far apart or close together it will work.....I mean no matter how you decide that will be how your family is and you will not know any different. I am lucky because I have 2 live in Nannies (big sisters) who love their little sisters as much as I do........When they are small it is great to watch them play and be friends....when there is more of gap it is neat to see how they intersct and how the older one will mother the younger. All families are unique and I personally feel that when you are ready and you want another there is no question, and it really doesn't matter if they are spaced just right or not.....with me I had them when I wanted, when I felt ready....................You will know when the time is right

My four are close in age, under six years start to finish. I never felt overwhelmed until the youngest was about5. After that, oh, yes, I've felt overwhelmed! Four is beyond my parenting comfort zone. I would probably just have two if I were 24 and just starting out. I think you should think long and hard before enlarging your family. You're overwhelmed to the point of tears with just two. Your patience is thin with just two. Adding one more after two is like double more work, not just a little more work. Now that my kids are getting older, one has moved out, it is getting less challenging. Good luck in your family planning.

I have three. They are 8.5, 4.5 and just turned three. Boy, girl, boy.

3 is hard. I won't sugarcoat it. Sometimes it's overwhelming. Sometimes I don't get a single minute to myself all day b/c SOMEone needs me at any given moment. It was especially difficult when my 3rd was born...I has a Kindergartener and a 19 month old. Adding one more was very difficult, especially since my DH was working 70 hours a week and NEVER home. I was doing it all by myself....even the day we came home from the hospital, DH dropped us off and had to go to work. I got VERY good at taking care of all three of them all by myself very quickly. I decided very early on that I would not become one of those mothers who was terrified to take her three young kids out by herself.....we went shopping, we went to my oldest's school functions, we went to church, we went out for dinner -- just myself and the three kids.

I taught them very early to stay by me, not to run around like maniacs, and to be quiet and respectful of other people when we were out. I meant what I said....whenever they decided to act up, we left. And they knew exactly why....all the way home, as I was telling them that we wouldn't be doing that very fun thing again until they could behave themselves. They knew that going out was a priviledge, not a right, so cooperation was a must. But...I digress....

Anyway, it gets much easier as they get older. I marvel at how I managed sometimes. As I think back, I sometimes think I was CRAZY to have attempted what I did with them. BUt, I'm so glad I did. I love that my youngest has been p/t for a whole year now....no diapers, no sippy cups, no baby ANYTHING in our house now. They are growing up so fast, and the very hard first few years are behind us. I sometimes didn't think I would make it, but now, looking back, it flew by. I look at these last 3 years with awe and wonder....and gratitude that they are over! LOL

As far as spacing goes, my 1st two are 1 day shy of 4 years apart. The first 4 years or so were great....no sibling rivalry at all. Now that DD is older, there is *some* but still not a whole lot. They love each other, but they are at such different stages, they don't play together a whole lot, but still do often enough for everyone to be happy.

My 2nd two are 19 months apart. They play together, they imagine together, they spend a LOT of time together. And they have a certain degree of sibling rivalry that we didn't have with DS1 and DD. It's interesting to see the differences of their ages and how they relate to each other because of it.

Two kids just didn't seem like enough for us....and 4 was way too many. DH and I grew up in big families (8 siblings for him, 7 for me), and we both knew that we didn't want a HUGE family. Somehow, though....2 seemed too small. 3 was our perfect number. I am so happy with my beautiful family....I couldn't imagine *not* having my little guy. He completes it in so many ways....he is such a combination of the other two in looks, and even in personality, while being totally different at the same time. He reminds me every day that there are MANY different personalities out there....I think I would automaticaly assume there were only two -- strong-willed (DS1) and complacent (DD) -- if not for my crazy "boys-boy" 3rd, who is a combination of both...all wrapped up in this tiny little energy ball.

Three isn't too bad....and if you can get passed the first few years...it's actually a huge pleasure!

Good luck with your family and whatever you decide!

I know how you feel. I have 2 little ones, a boy nearly 4 and a 1 year old little girl. It took us a long time to get pregnant, and we really expected he would be our only one. We were so excited and amazed when we had our little girl, but now it feels like someone is missing. Very strange that we felt more "complete" with one than we do now with two. I think we had just convinced ourselves that we were really ok with one child since we felt so lucky to even have had him.

I think I want one more child, but I have many days where I feel like we are barely managing our 2.

I have 4 under 6. My youngest was born just after my oldest turned 5. They're now almost 6, 4, almost 2 1/2, and 10months. Going from 2 to 3 was the hardest transition for me. My husband works a lot and it took a bit of adjusting to the logistics. The kids adjusted seemlessly each time. It's more juggling and planning but certainly a joy.

funny. i just logged on here to ask the same thing! I too have 2 boys, 7 & 3...ever since the youngest was born i have flat out said "NO MORE" and i did say that after my first as well, it took 3.5 years to want to have another one... and here i am, at the 3.5 year mark and am now thinking i want to try for the "baby girl"...although there are no guarantees of a girl (anyone have any advice/methods on that one?).

i'm 35, husband is 42, so i feel like were getting too old to wait any longer if we are going to try to have one more. then theres timing...my husband is recently unemployed, i still work but don't make enough for all of us, we're squeaking by right now with hopes of him finding a new job soon. we are still trying to get our medical insurance in order, of course when i applied for new medical coverage i went for the plan that doesn't include maternity!! there are signs saying "not now" and then there is recently this feeling of wanting to try for a 3rd....what do you do??

congrats by the way angefleur29 on your BFP!!! guess the decision was made!

i'd love some feedback...

me 35, husband, 42, noah 7, lukas 3

I am 29 years old. My husband turns 31 on Saturday.

We have four (4) children. They were born 07.08.00, 09.02.00, 10.13.03 and 08.16.05. So my four (4) kids are only spread over 5yrs and 1 month, essentially, so we have kids who are 8, 6, 5 and 3. It has worked for us, we manage school, activities, sports and family car trips, not to mention day to day life.

The one thing I will say is.... once you go to three, it is different. There are more kids than you have hands and more kids than you have parents. As my husband an I joke, when our third was born we had to shift from a "man to man" to a "zone" defense.

I do occasionally feel as if I will lose my mind, but usually not, and I have never regretted having them all.

Looks like you will have three (3) in 4 yrs Enjoy.

my kids were born 07.08.00, 09.29. 02, 10.13.03 and 08.16.05

I have 3 sons, 24,23,20 now,they are all 3 very close,I was a single mother,was 16 when I found out that I was pregnant the first time,its was very hard but you can do it, I am having the hardest time now that they are all grown up, it was just us 4 my whole life,now they are all 3 starting thier own life. My youngest son just signed up for the Army,just getting ready to graduate from basic and his training of Engineer,next month,then off to Germany. I must say this time in my life is the hardest, letting them go. Best wishes to you and yours.

I have three children. A daughter 11, a son 2 and a daughter 8 months. We waited to have more children till I could stay at home with them. Having an older daughter does come in handy once sometimes, she is a big help. most of the time she is a pre-teen with all the mood swings... My husband works an average of 65 hours a week. S o I got used to doing it all myself really quickly. Although sometimes i feel as if i am loosing my mind with all the laundry housework, homework, school projects etc.... it is all worth it and i wouldn't change a thing ( except for a little more help) example : grandparents....

there is a big difference between one and two children. however form two to three children the only difference is that there is a lot more of everything.... hugs,tears,messes, and fun. it takes longer to do everything especially when you are doing it by yourself.

I take my children everywhere with me. To the grocery store, to the parks, on errands, to gymboree, to restaurants, to movies.

I have four very close together. My oldest is 5 then 2.5 years later we had the second and then 13 months later #3 and 13 months after that #4. I can get very flustered sometimes. The key to handling more than one or two is to have a routine. My boys act better knowing what is coming next. Example: After lunch they know they are taking a nap. No surprise and therefore they don't put up a fight. I don't recommend having them as close as I did. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids but it is very hard to keep up with them so little. And shopping is impossible b/c the three youngest have to be in a cart.

I think 2.5 years is a good distance apart. My grandmother has 6 kids and she thought 2 years was good. I don't recommend a huge gap. I personally think 5 years would be too big of a gap. My grandmother had hers close together except for the last two and there was a 5 year gap. She said she does not recommend it either.

Maybe this help? Good luck.

have two boys (16 months and 5 months) and I am already pregnant with my third and due before my youngest 1st birthday. I understand how crazy boys can be. Mine alternate when they want to be crazy so its like never getting a break. But my mother in law had 5 kids in 6 1/2 years and she said 3,4, and 5 are easy to bring home because the other ones play with each other. So while it will get hard with some parts other parts will be easier. I think its crazy to have them this close but so much fun to watch them interact with each other and in the long run it will be great and the will be so close and always have a friend. Good luck!

Hi.To give you an anwser,yes I have two sisters born on the same day as I am but we are 3 years apart.Heres the facts,Darrell 10/11/1952 Joyce 10/11/1949 Bonnie 10/11/1955.So yes it can happen.Just a little known fact for everyone.Have a good day.