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Parents of Tweens and Teens - Welcome to your home!

Bundles of hormones, emotions, and insecurities. Rebellion, dating, school problems, peer and societal pressures, its our job to see these kids to adulthood. Get the support you need here!

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bisexual teen
An_249154 posted:
My daughter just informed me tonight that she is bisexual. She is 15 years old. She didnt volunteer this information to me. She has been in trouble lately for lying so i have been keeping an eye on her phone calls and such. Well I was aware that she had been talking alot to a girl but didnt think much of it as she had just broken up with her boyfriend. I have to say what i read was a shock to me. She was saying I love you to this person. So i thought maybe she was disguising this person as a girl when it was actually a boy, which was something she had recently done but with a boy. So i confronted her about it, and she admitted it but had told me that she was afraid to tell me. I think mainly what i am so upset about is her lying. Its just one lie after another and she knows I can not handle a liar, even though i think part of it is i am in shock. How do I handle this information? She can get very defiant, almost like she's my mother, not the other way around. After i took her cell phone away from her for lying, she told me I was a F*&#*&# crappy mom, which hurt to the core. PLEASE HELP A CONFUSED MOM.
EmptyVessel411 responded:
What kind of household are you maintaining? Is it Christian, atheist, or another religion? Either way I feel the answer relies within love. All teens are looking for it in different places and for parents it is important to understand that consistency is an important expression of love. I think talking with her and being open about your feelings about her bisexuality is important. Teens are very smart and honesty is the best way to start a foundation of trust and communication. It is clear you have unanswered questions about her sexuality start with trying to get the full picture of her identity. Ask her things like... how long has she been bisexual, what makes her think that she is bisexual, etc...
highlander6 replied to EmptyVessel411's response:
My step daughter did the same thing this past summer and I knew due to her lying out bursts that it was an attention thing. I asked her questions about why she thought she was that way and she really had no answers about it. I told her either way I accepted her but explained that if the girl in question was in deed her gf a few rules would change around the house. once she realized the attention she wanted wasn't coming from this recent anouncement of bi sexuality she all of a sudden told me she was a vegatarian. Enjoy these years, write down all these funny lil statments cuz someday you will need ammo when your ready to go into a home.
Boyzmomee replied to EmptyVessel411's response:
The religion of this household makes no difference, neither does her sexuality. It's the lying and disrespect. I'd make an appointment for family counseling.
BLU_HART40 responded:
Well as I don't condone what she said to you, it may be a reaction as she feels betrayed. Though she should not have lied she may feel that the one time she confided in you and did tell you the truth she was punished by getting the phone taken away. Coming out to a parent is the one of the hardest things to do, maybe you should try to re-explain why you took the phone away and let her know that her speaking to you like that is unacceptable but you were not punishing her for opening up to you, only because she was dishonest.

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