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Teen daughter dating drug user
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lexie13 posted:
My 14 year old daughter wants to date a boy (16) who i know is using some drugs as well as hanging out with the wrong crowd. We have put on the breaks and advise her she will not see him outside of school. We live in a small community and have received feedback that everyone around her does not see this as a good fit. A lot of people are worried about her and have told her. She does not want to hear it and thinks everyone is wrong. I do not know what to do, we have a good relationship but I don't want her to sneak around to see him. She is very upset that i won't let her meet his parents as well as let him come to our house. I am Debating letting her find out on her own and risking she will get more attached, or forbidding her and dealing with the tantrum and loosing her trust.
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korrisgirl responded:
She's 14 - she'll get over it. If this boy is really using drugs then you have an obligation as her parent to weather the tantrum and stand your ground. She needs to understand that choosing a boy who uses drugs & hangs out with a bad crowd is not a very "adult" choice & that until she is able to make better decisions for herself, you are in charge. Explain to her that by choosing to use drug, this boy is also choosing not to be a part of her life. Period. As a young woman, she needs to learn to set a higher standard for herslef & her relationships. Stand firm!
 
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mariajohnson responded:
Catch that boy red handed may be then your daughter would realize what wrong she was doing. Let her get to know about that boy because as much you will tell her against him she will not listen to you. So let her know the truth. And you be with her and see to it that they do not meet outside the school.
 
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stellagonzalez responded:
Do one thing spend more and more time with her, take her for the outing. Try to be with her maximum time, just listen her what she thinks and make her realize about the importance of family. She will definitely come back.
 
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sluggo45692 responded:
From a father of a 24 yo stepdaughter, I can tell you. She won't listen to you. I can offer some advise. If she's to meet his parents, you meet his parents also. You tell them what you heard and tell them of your concerns. If they don't show enough concern, then do what you can to stop it. DON'T let her have her own way and don't let her find out on her own.

"Here baby, try this. It won't hurt you. I promise."

You now have a pregant teen, a drug abuser, or a depressed, diseased, suicidal child. You pick. This is self discovery.

I was lucky. She didn't get pregnant (she can't now due to the STD that sterilized her), She got off the drugs, and she still can't hold a job, or can get the mental health help she needs. Both myself and my ex wife are to blame. I worked 3rd shift and her mother was useless for her. I told her (ex) a couple of times the keep the boys out. I would roll in at about 7am with the latest one still sleeping in her room. When I split with my ex, she threw her daughter out. She was 18 and had 5 months of High School left. She never got to finish.

This is not a scare tactic, but a wake up call. My mother had 4 sons and 1 daughter. She always stated "with a son you have to worry about one penis, with a daughter you have to worry about every penis in town."

Good Luck


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