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online teen dating warning!!
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missmeno posted:
I call it a warning since I am 100% on top of my 15 daughter's life, friends and such. I learned the internet and cell phone features so I could be an informed parent. YET this still happened to us!!

Long short... even through my watchful eye. I am with her most of my free time and we are close. She tells me a lot, but has some things she keeps to herself as any teen should. I try to balance that "on it" Mom with lettting her grow up too. I teach teach teach. She is very mature for her age. She is with adults alot too. She stays away from kids her age that are doing drugs and having sex, she has friends that do it, but she doesn't hang with them out of school ya know. She is well rounded but still only 15.

Sooo I check on cell calls. texting usage. Internet usage... ect. I make sure she is safe the best I can.

Well I found her cell on her bed while she was sleeping. Went to put it on charge and decided to check text etc. OMG!!

I found a couple texts from 30 mins before.. long short... a boy (not a local # I knew) and I love yous and all that ga ga back and forth. One sexual comment from HER!

BUT then, you could tell she feel asleep and HIS texting was "where are you?!!" "Your cheating, I know!" and he got all posessive and threats to break up with her. It was a controlling not health boy! 6 texts of HIS was all, and I had a picture that was NOT OK!!

I took the cell and laptop away right there, till we talked the next day.

Story is: this boy is across the US from us, he is a cousin of a kid in school. They started online dating 1 month prior. IM's, Texting pics and video cam sometimes, but mosty texting. I have unlimited so unless I look, I wouldn't see it on the bill. She said she got hooked. She was very glad I found out because he was on her 24/7 if she didnt answer right away, he freaked on her via text. She was enjoying his attention, but not his possesiveness. We talked about it in full- A LOT! I also talked to a therapist to make sure she wasn't doing this out of something I missed.

It seems this is common among kids, BUT they aren't telling adults about it. She said more kids DO than DON'T online date- with people they DO NOT know!!

I have the laptop and cell still, 2 weeks later. She is punished from them, even though she gets it was wrong, not truthful and misuse of them, I feel a long time away will teach her best. She loves them both and is feeling it

I also removed text altogether for now. It is inconvience for me too, but I think a good lesson for her. She will get it back when I feel she "gets it". Right now she says she does, but I want more time and a big lesson learned here.

I tell you all this so you can make sure you are aware of this. I tell you I would NOT of thought she would do this. We talk openly and from what I see she wouldn't go there. She did! I am not saying she is perfect, but her personality didn't show that she would put up with this boy, or misuse these things knowing I would find out, knowing it was wrong...

Please watch your kids! She could have been on a plane someday. She could of got hooked beyond help. She could of had him come to her someday Scary but REAL stuff!

She also told me her friend has been on line dating for a year with a boy she never met and that the parents talkes and are "friends" now and allow it.

When I asked her why her friend does that and not date in the real world. She said because she is "not pretty and overweight and can't get a guy"

In my oppinion, it is soo unhealthy to learn about dating as a teen in a fake online world. To each is their own, but not liking it here.
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too_painful_to_live responded:
I realize this post is 5 yrs old but I'm hoping that you're still around, because I've had a very similar situation happen to me and my 15 yr old and could really use some advice from you....
 
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compoundia responded:
Hats off to you. You have done a great job. I think you are absolutely right. Internet is the easiest medium to make friends and teenagers don't able to understand that to whom they should do friendship and sometimes teenagers will be in big trouble. So, every parents should take care of this and also talk about this without hesitation.
 
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marshagal responded:
It is crazy that an issue from five years ago is still really relevant. I am a mom of a 13 year old girl, and I have monitored her online usage since she was 10. I randomly audit her texts and I am blind copied on all of the emails that she receives. Now I know that she is computer savvy enough to create another email that I don't have access to, so I will probably start checking her computer. She also does not have a smart phone.

When I was a young adult I dated online. It was before it was so easy to do everything virtual though. I don't know how I feel about my daughter doing that though.


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