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12 year old boy ? behavior
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BJMID posted:
Hi to all, I have a 12 year old son and a 9 year old son. The 9 year old seems to be very well adjusted friends, interest in sports, school etc. But my 12 year old, he has friends but he doesn't talk about them much just when I ask and his biggest interest is running home and sitting in front of the computer researching for unexplained creatures or watching the Lost creatures series, he doesn't watch sports, play sports, or at this point even care about girls (actually not a bad thing) at this point either. is this a phase, will he grow out of this. His grades are improving he just entered 7th grade this year, the little girl he did like in grade school broke his heart last year, is he just adjusting, my husband thinks there is something really wrong, I think he is just being 12 does anyone know who is right or do I need to take this kid to talk to someone is he depressed? HELP
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teeny79 responded:
This all sounds normal to me i have a nephew in fact that is just like this, different interests but doesn't do sports and loves his computer he is happy enough. If you are worried sit him down and talk to him, is he happy? You could and should limit his time on the computer, he needs to exercise cut him down to a couple of hours tops on the computer and tell him to find something else to do with the rest of his time. He can read or whatever but by not allowing him on the comp part of the day he may get bored and do something physical.
 
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Johnnie38 responded:
Is there a chance that your husband is seeing the big picture through stereotypical eyes? That one of his boys isn't into sports (participating or spectating) nor girls isn't a sign that something is *wrong*. To be the indoorsy, tech type isn't either. Your situation sounds typical/normal.
 
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RifeDelight responded:
Sounds like my older brother when he was that age. He would come home and turn on history channel, and wouldn't tell me about his friends (we are only a year apart). Anyways, he was terrible at sports, so he didn't really care. He LOVES football now that he's gone to college. I suggest, if you're REALLY worried, you find an activity that would get him out of the house, like taking him to a science center, or some other non-sport thing that had him interacting with you and your husband and developing other interests. As long as he's healthy and happy, his lack of interests in sports/girls shouldn't be a concern at all.
 
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Louise_WebMD_Staff responded:
My 15 yo son was the same way at 12. It seemed like he couldn't pick kids he spent years in school with out of a line up if need be. However, he could give you a bizarre range of facts on things he was interested in. He had a couple of friends, but he never seemed like he wanted to spend time outside of school with them. This year he started high school, at a large school with a club for every imaginable interest. Suddenly, he talks about spending time with kids. He spent the first two months of school jumping into the car when I picked him up and starting the conversation with "I know the names of kids at school" (we had long gently ribbed him about this habit of telling a story about something that happened in class and he would say "And this boy in my class" but not be able to pull up the name of the kid.) He attends a couple of clubs suited to his interests. He suddenly seems to be socially blooming. I doubt he will ever be interested in sports, but he certainly does seem to have a good range of interests and activities. You may need to just ask yourself if this is just the way your son is, is it new behavior, if other things about his behavior trouble you or if he seems unhappy with his current situation.
 
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Loel_Tabasa responded:
Maybe he is not into girls because he is into boys? :sealed: Well, I by the look of things you dont EVEN HAVE PROBLEM here. You are trying to make something out of nothing. So going home and doing some research about his interest is a bad thing compared to going to the mall to play video games, smoke pot or hanging out with shady old men? Tell your husband there is nothing wrong with your kid, the only one who is wrong here is your husband. If he wants to have a jock as a son so that he can have something to brag about to his friends when he is drunk then he should wait for your younger son to grow older.
 
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Loel_Tabasa responded:
Maybe he is not into girls because he is into boys? :sealed: Well, by the look of things you dont EVEN HAVE A PROBLEM here. You are trying to make something out of nothing. So going home and doing some research about his interest is a bad thing compared to going to the mall to play video games, smoke pot or hanging out with shady old men? Tell your husband there is nothing wrong with your kid, the only one who is wrong here is your husband. If he wants to have a jock as a son so that he can have something to brag about to his friends when he is drunk then he should wait for your younger son to grow older.


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