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teenage sociopath
An_221559 posted:
My granddaughter was a sweet, caring girl when she was a child but when she turned 12 something in her changed. It was like her concience just vanished. She started lying about everything. Things that really didn't even matter. She became very self centered and mean. She's never physically hurt anyone or anything seriously. She's been in a couple of "girl" tussels at school but nothing I would call signs of a serious problem. Her mother died suddenly just before she turned 13. I took her to live with me and at first I thought she was just testing me to see how far I would let her go, But she seemed to not even care when she was punished. She would have a 5 minute session of telling me how unfair I was and then she was over it. I put her in counseling & the counselor came to me after a few session to talk to me about her behavoir because she felt it was harmful to my child. My 13 year old was having sex with whoever was around. I thought maybe she was trying to make up for the affection she had lost when I heard this. She had lost the closeness to her mother a few months before her death & she had actually come to me to help her get some birth control. I of course talked with her mother and we came to an agreement. What neither of us was aware of was the extent the sex was going. I found out some from the counselor and alot from 1st hand experience. Guys were coming her thru her bedroom window at night! Shes 13 !!!. To make the point; she didn't think she was doing a thing wrong. When the counselor brought up her mother, she said her face showed no emotion at all. The schools counselors made similar comments to me. I'm afraid for her. I don't know if her lack of emotion or not taking responsibilty for her actions and frankly not caring, is her way of protecting herself from getting hurt anymore or if she has a sociopathic illness. Her behavoir started before her mother died, thats why I question if she is just putting up a wall. She lies to me about almost everything and does pretty much whatever she wants when she out of my sight. She has stayed in school for the last 3 months, but cutting classes was a major issue before that. Her father is around off and on. He has a drug problem, so as a father, he's hit and miss. She has a little sister 11, who also lives with me. She is so verbally mean to her. I know sisters fight, but she never shows her any affection. She is now 15 and I can't remember the last time she let me hug her or gave anyone a hug. She says she doesn't like to be touched. She never really shows emotion. She's cried for a few hours over a boyfriend, but by morning she totally over it and looking for a new one.Is this normal teenage behavoir for someone who has been thru what she has or should I worry it could be signs of a sociopath. I don't want to label her as having a problem if she's just a hurt teenager. On the other hand I don't want to ignore something that could be serious. We have installed an alarm system to stop the late night window visits from boys and I've had her do some more counseling, but I'm told she just doesn't talk.
moonbeamgarden1 responded:
I think that some serious counceling is needed. I think the issues you are describing go farther than a message board can help with. I would suggest family counceling so that you can learn to deal with her behaviors and help her and her sister and individual counceling for the sisters. They've been through a lot. The meaness could be "normal" teenager stuff, but there is so much going on here that I think professional advice would be the best thing for your family. I would suggest you go to someone with an EXCELLENT reputation.

It is awesome that you were able to take them in and love them when their mother passed.
Louise_WebMD_Staff responded:
It sounds like you need to find a psychiatrist for her to me. Keep working until you find one she will talk to and get some therapy for your 11 yo as well.

In the meantime, some family counseling to help you and the children seems like a good idea.
Jane1017 responded:
I too lost my mother at age 10 and my father was a chronic alcoholic. As a young girl I longed for my mother's love after she passed and my father was anything but affectionate when he was at home. I never acted out toward others because of this.
Speaking from my own experience (and from a professional perspective, working in mental health and with juveniles for over 10 yrs now) I do not think this is just a "teenage phase". It sounds like the girls are fortunate to have someone who loves them to take them in and care for them, but I do think that her behavior is something to be concerned with!
Keep up the counseling and find somebody who has a good reputation for dealing with girls this age. Finding somebody she can connect with and trust is key! Don't give up on her, your efforts will pay off. It may take a long time to reap the benefits but it will be time well invested.

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