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Lonely 18yr daughter
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searchon posted:
How can I help my daughter who has never fit in school, feels ugly, has been teased and picked on does not want to try anymore to socialize or be apart of any activity. She does have a couple of friends but she does not want to seem to needy by calling them regularly. She worries constantly about being alone the rest of her life but she wont listen to any of my suggestion to change her thinking? She has been in therapy for 4yrs and recently a 5 day outpatient group therapy for teens she faught me everyday about not wanting to go but I could not take her nightly crying.Nothing has helped so far.Drugs are not an option,Were can she go and be accepted?
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Louise_WebMD_Staff responded:
Yikes, I would have suggested group therapy and friendship therapy. Hmm. I think at 18 you need to let her find a college where she feels like she will find a place.

Has her therapist suggested a diagnosis or suggested medication? If so, why are drugs not an option for her?
 
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searchon responded:
My daughter refuses to take any drugs. Her last therapist suggested we might try using drugs, since she has been in therapy for so long with no change, but I would prefer any suggestion for a natural remedies. I would like to hear more about the friendship therapy and how would I find more information about it?
 
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FCL replied to searchon's response:
No offence intended but ... after 4 years of therapy at the age of 18 and no improvement ... perhaps it's time to consider meds. After all, she's clearly suffering. Meds are not going to stop her functioning correctly - possibly quite the opposite. Why persist down exactly the same road that is getting her nowhere and (possibly) making her situation worse if changing the itinerary might help? Why not give meds a few months' trial ? If the worst comes to the worst, you can always stop them ...

Please don't deprive her of a possible solution because of her pre-conceived ideas about meds. Ask her if she actually LIKES the way she feels ...

Wishing you well,

FCL
 
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Boyzmomee replied to searchon's response:
After 4 years of other treatment, as a parent I would certainly consider medication as recommended.

Perhaps your daughter has refused because she has picked up your negative attitudes towards medication?

If she were diabetic, would you refuse medication?
 
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Boyzmomee replied to FCL's response:
Yes, I agree. I really feel for this mother and daughter but after 4 years it's time to consider other solutions.
 
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stressed1857 responded:
try getting her involved in comunity hours you can take her to your hospital or a nursing home and let her get involved helping others less fortunate than her she can do activites like reading doing puzzlesor arts and crafts with the patients because by doing that some nursing homes have some younger people and also it might help her find out something she is good at some homeless shelters also do comunity work and it could bring her self esteem up by being able to help others who are less fortunate my daughter is 16 and has already talked about doing it people in those situations are usually very appricating and let people know how much they appreaciate it and it can bring her self esteem up and make her feel important if she does it regulary and misses a day the patients worry about her and it will make her feel important to be appriciated at that age most people wont admit it or just hide it but it will do good the people will tell her how good she is and that if others cant see it that it is their loss she can also sign up to be a volenter at some elementry schools to help with book fairs and in classrooms or help by going on feild trips with them to help the students my sons school was asking for voleneters to go on a class feild trip to lawrey park zoo and help with the children and ride rides with them there is alot of things she can get involved with so her self esteem will improve dog pounds or animal shelters also appreciate the help taking care of the animals if she likes animals try talking with her about it and how she can help others out and see if she might want to try it the people in nursing homes sometimes dont have family visiting alot and also by listening to them and talking with them they will ask her how she is doing she might meet friends there doing the same thing she is doing and have some one to go out to eat with or just a friend that understands her try it out and let me know how things work out god bless you and her churches also like people to help in the daycare threr are alot of things to try outcheck some of them out and you can make the sugestion that they need help and she can help and in the mean time she can find some true friends just suguest it to her to help others out and if she is interested you will see a big change in her you can even call around and check into them before you sugjest it to her to get some information on it she can change into a happy confidant person over night and when people see the change she will draw others to her and she can become confidant in herself good luck just dont make her think you are asking to help her just let her know that other people need help so she might be more willing to do it if you mention that it can help her she might not be willing to try it but everyone likes to help others out some way or another and by helping others it will make her feel good about herself and she might even thank you for sugusting it and you can feel good too because not only did you help your daughter but you also helped someone else too you might even try it out by doing it to see if she might like it before you mention it to her speak with someone on their oppinion it is good to see alot of people still so interested in family things these days not alot of people have alot of family or people to talk to they are so busy my dad told me that the thing we as parents now days trying to give our children what we didnt have that we dont get to spend alot of time with our children and we give them too much stuff and not alot of attention and we wonder why they dont appriciate it good luck let me know what you think
 
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stressed1857 replied to stressed1857's response:
also have any off you heard of books called chicken soup for the soul they are wonderful they even have them at schools and librarys they are books made up of little stories so it is something easy to read and come back to next time you are at walmart or a book store or library check them out easy to get into and fun to read because they are a bounch of short stories that way you dont have to read a few pages to get back on track men i know and even teens and younger children in elementry love them and you would be supprised about all the different ones they have they have them for kids teens mother and daughter mother and son single parents christins couples you can read ond story from anywhere in the book my 16 year old daughter loves them and she dont like to read try them out and let me know if you like them or if they are helpfull they even have them for cancer pationts all things in life and all except for the kids one have about 101 stories so you get a bounch of different sides and situations great for relaxing after a hard day at work or a stressful day at school i have got people to read them that dont like to read or just too busy to read i get them for presents for loved ones and friends and they start buying them on theirselfes after that check them out please you wont regret it i promise. good to read to take your mind off of your problems or good just to enjoy even for people without time i say how could you not like it they have funny stories sad storries all kinds hope you just take 5 minutes to chech them out whats to lose
 
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Boyzmomee replied to stressed1857's response:
Stressed1857,

Getting her involved in helping others is a great idea.

I think she need professional help too.

I love the Chicken Soup for the Soul books.
 
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stressed1857 replied to Boyzmomee's response:
thanks ny daughter 16 and even my 7 year old son really enjoy helping and it really makes them feel good yes she should think about meds and professional help also talk with her theripast and find out her oppinion on the helping out others i am glad to hear you like the chicken soup books they are great my daughter loves them and they even have them in her school library good luck


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