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    Advice?
    avatar
    An_221755 posted:
    I have a 16 yr old daughter recently diagnosed with severe depression & anxiety. She also cuts on herself & attempted suicide. I notified the authorities & she was hospitalized for several days, placed on meds & is beginning therapy. She believes our relationship is the main cause of how she feels. What now?
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    An_221756 responded:
    You work on fixing your relationship with her, and help her to understand that there are better coping mechanisms than self mutilation. Maybe schedule an appointment with her therapist for yourself so you can discuss with her how to cope with your daughters' behavior.

    Have a no-tolerance policy for cutting, and have her hospitalized every time you see marks on her. Be an empathetic ear to things going on in her life, and maybe open up a little with her about who you are, why you are the way you are, and help her understand you better so your relationship can be more two-sided.

    I'm so sorry you're both going through this, and wish you both healing.
     
    avatar
    phoenix31674 responded:
    I have to agree with PP. See if she will agree with joint counseling or if you can do sessions with the same therapist and work towards joint counseling. If she thinks your relationship is the main cause, then it is in her mind. You will need to keep an open mind during this trying time and try to see things from her perspective. Hopefully she will try to see it from yours as well, but remember, she is still immature even though she is looking more and more adult every day, she is still years away from being mentally mature. She craves freedom, but also wants rules and structure from you.

    I really do hope she will agree to joint counseling because it will allow her to voice herself to a nonjudgmental third party, though it might be good for her to have a couple of sessions with her therapist first, but definitely let the therapist know you are open to a joint session to help her through this troublesome time. Remember, she is become and adult, dealing with changing hormones, stress in school, relationship and probably feeling a pressure to succeed. It's really a lot and she is showing that she isn't equipped to handle it all. Be there, be supportive of her and don't be judgmental of her. Be open to change within reason. you are still the parent and need to set certain boundaries, but there are some areas you can bend for her.
     
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    Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Dear Anon,

    I am so sorry to hear about what you and your daughter are going through and hopefully you both can begin therapy very soon. Glad you reached out for support.

    To understand a little more about what your daughter is going through, I want to give you this link, Need Advice To Help Daughter , from our Self Harm Community. It is posted by a parent with a similar situation. The responding member gives great information.

    Cutting/self harm is difficult to understand, it is a way to deal with emotional pain. You both have a long road ahead, just take things one hour and one day at a time.

    Sending caring thoughts your way, please keep us posted,
    Elizabeth
     
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    Ms_Candy804 responded:
    If your relationship is the root of her issues then you should work to improve your relationship with her and try to work on your lines of communication with one another. I hope that everything works out for you both, God bless.
     
    avatar
    Boyzmomee replied to Ms_Candy804's response:
    What an emotionlly disturbed teen thinks is at the root of her isues and what actually is at the root of her isues may not be the same thing.

    Many mental illnesses have a biological basis.

    I would find a vey qualified therapist to work with the family and also individually with the teen.

    I'd have a psychiatrist evaluate and monitor her, especially if she is on medication.


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