I am the mother of two successful adult children, Tony 42 and Anne 40. Virtually everyday I hear of teens disrespecting or even beating up their parents and their teachers at their schools. I am so elated that I never had to deal with such egregious, appalling behavior while I raised my own two kids.
Up to 1992 I lived with them in the Caribbean while their father lived and worked in the US. I always made my children know that I loved them but if they committed an infraction they would be punished accordingly. In 1980 my son Tony was 11 and I crowned him the de-facto man of the house. I encouraged him to eat six enormous meals a day so that he could get big and strong. He soon became very fat and his belly became EXTREMELY HUGE, sticking out 20 inches forward from the front of his pants. Tony's shirts could not cover his belly so he went around with the front of his belly exposed. His sister Anne was a little chubby herself, but I enjoyed seeing them gobble up all the hamburgers, sandwiches and cakes which I bought for them.
Whenever Tony misbehaved I'd inform him that punishment was due (for instance, one Sunday he hit his visiting 8 year old cousin Wayne on the head). I would sit on the front porch with a hard-sole slipper or wooden cooking spoon and call Tony out. He would approach me with his immense belly pointing the way. Then I would whack him hard on his navel 8 to 10 times with the slipper, the wooden-spoon or similar implement. His belly would jiggle and shake with each impact of the slipper or spoon. There would be a resulting U-shaped weal around Tony's navel which would vanish in two hours or so. He could choose between the slipper/ wooden-spoon or my fist. If he chose the fist, 8 punches would be delivered squarely on his navel. My fist traveled through acres of flab in his fat-filled belly. His belly would jiggle and quiver with each blow.
I would never punish Tony after he had just eaten; I would do it before mealtimes. Whenever Anne misbehaved I would whack her on her rear end 8 to 10 times. I NEVER took out my rage on my children from other issues such as problems at my workplace, etc. After they did their homework, and after dinner and supper we would engage in happy, familial banter or play board games. On Saturdays we would go shopping and we would eat dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant. My children excelled in school, had great respect for their teachers and other elders, and went on to earn their PhD degrees by age 26. Later they both became married with Tony having two fantastic children of his own.
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That is APPALLING. You brutalized them and deliberately overfed them. You should be ashamed of yourself.
You have it wrong. I did not brutalize my children. I punished them ONLY when they stepped out of line. And that was at most once a month or so. They had to know what constitutes right from wrong. I did not raise any juvenile delinquents.
I always liked to see my children contented so I did let them eat as much as they wanted in order to keep them happy and loving of life.
I don't believe a word of this story and I don't think any real parents on here should bother reading this.
Nothing in this post sounds like a parent speaking of their children... sounds like a story teller... something out of the fiction section in the library. I think whoever wrote this was trying to evoke emotions and a certain response from readers, but this isn't the platform for that. This is where parents come to ask real questions about real issues they're having with their REAL children.
Tothebeach4, I am sorry but whether you believe my story or not, everything here is real; it is true; this really did happen in 1980. There is no way I can make it "unhappen" so as to relegate it to fiction.
Would you also not believe the story of the 15 year old boy from Oregon who murdered his parents, then went to school and committted more homicides? So I guess that the tragic incident which unfolded in Florida during the summer of this year, where a teenage boy murdered his parents then held a party in the same house where his dead parents lay is also fiction. Well sorry if my story may have offended your sensibilities but I did everything which I related therein. My children are grown and were never the spoiled, rotten, semi-literate, underachieving ingrates like so many American children are today.
Using pain and fear and recompensing with food is reducing children to the state of animals (and it doesn't work well for training animals either - they prefer love and consideration too). Did it ever occur to you to discuss with them what was happening, why you were not happy with them or did you just continue on your merry way?
If you really have children and if they really did succeed then you were very lucky. You could have been a statistic too - no child likes to be humiliated and aggressed. If they succeeded in their lives I'd say it was DESPITE your behavior, not because of it.
I must express partial contrition for the the parental tactics which I practiced 31 years ago. Having grown up in a society and era in which corporal punishment was the accepted means by which parents and teachers kept their children or pupils in line, it was a given that I and other parents of my generation would adhere to that tradition, which was also supported by our pastors, church ministers, mayors and police chiefs. I was beaten mercilessly by my both parents, for all sorts of inscrutable reasons, often for 15 minutes at a time, as were most of my parental peers. In turn, in the process of raising our own children we also resorted to corporal punishment in varying degrees. So it was that I vowed to hit my children ONLY if they committed an infraction worthy of punishment. I would smack them for no more than 5 minutes, and only on one site on their bodies. I would whack my son Tony only on the most salient part of his body for less than 3 minutes, for example, as related on my original post.
In those days we had not yet migrated to the USA, so many of the issues plaguing American youngsters, such as peer pressure, gangs, etc., were not relevant.
Flash forward to the present, Tony has a different philosophy when it comes to raising his own two children. Tony has NEVER laid a hand on his children. He and his wife have doted on them immensely, shielding them from deleterious peer pressure and other pernicious societal issues, making them among the most well adjusted, brilliant teenagers that one can ever meet. Like Tony, they are overachievers at school and destined for the same degree of success attained by their father.
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