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Teenager wants to be with father instead of mother.
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An_243073 posted:

I have a 13 year old girl that wants to go and live with her. Even thought she saw her father beating me up she still wants to go with him. She is always saying that she will be happy with her father than me. I don't know what to do. I feel that if I keep her with me she will turn more revel towards me or if I send her with her father things might not be ok she will probably say that it was my fault. What should I do???
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phoenix31674 responded:
The two of you need to have some joint counseling and look into separate counseling as well. The problem with abuse is that the abuser is a master manipulator. Kudos to you for getting away from him - many women can't make that first step.

As to your daughter, many abusers make their victims feel they are getting what they deserve. If you called you names and degraded you in addition to the physical violence, your daughter is impressionable enough that she may have come to believe his words, that you were weak, worthless and deserved to be beaten. I'm not saying he used these exact words, but that is typically what the abuser will say directly or imply. Because she believes what her father said, she likely doesn't have much respect for you. So you need to get her in to see a counselor who specializes in abuse because directly or indirectly, she is also his victim. If she were to live with him, she would be setting herself up to end up in abusive relationship because she thinks that's normal.
 
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fcl responded:
I wonder if she thinks that there would be fewer rules, no crufew, fewer limitations for her if she lived with her father? This may just be a teenager who is looking for a freer way of life and who only sees that her father doesn't expect so much from her as you do and has blotted the rest from her memory.


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