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My 11 almost 12 yo son is out of control
An_243494 posted:
I thought I knew every parenting trick in the book...our first son responded to positive techniques. My 11 yo has always been "intense" and we've always had to be more creative in our parenting. He tends to lose his temper and in the past we worked on coping skills, etc. He is also an anxious kid - though noone outside of our nuclear family believes me as he has many friends and does well in school. He verbalizes worry about most everything and about 1 year ago began sleeping on the floor of our room (waiting until we were asleep). He is afraid of monsters but won't be specific. Suddenly he is saying the most hateful things, throwing things. He still wets the bed, but will not follow dr. advice (he is holding all day at school because he does not want to use the toilets there- dr says his bladder is now stretched). He is suddently extremely resistant to rules and directions. I'm feeling like an awful parent for the first time in 15 years. I think it is a conflict between the developmental stage of being more independent but the reality of his being extremely dependent (sleeping in his parents room) but don't know what to do. Help
momuv4girls responded:
Parenting a child who does not fall into the "norm" can be extremely challenging and exhausting.

I think you are right to be sounds like there is something internal going on with your son. His fears, bedwetting and defiance / anger need to be dealt with before they get too far out-of-hand.

I would highly suggest finding a smart, board certified Child Psychiatrist to evaluate your son.
I would do your homework and make sure its a really good Dr. - because all Dr.s are not created equal, and you want one who can get to the root of your son's behaviors and help him to feel better.

A good Psychiatrist will do an evaluation over several visits - they will visit w/you and your husband alone, your son alone, visit with you all together, give you a ton of paperwork to fill out, as well as his teachers.
Then after compiling all the information, they will give a recommendation of treatment.
Any Dr. that will see your son for an hour , then diagnose and suggest treatment is incompetent in my book.

Here is a link to explore:

Hang in there and do some research, I know how difficult and trying it is to have a child with challenging behavior problems.
llewis248 replied to momuv4girls's response:
Thank you, Kathleen. Your post was very helpful and the link you provided, too.

I'm going to start searching for professional help...I'm aware of a shortage of good child psychiatrists locally, though.

Thanks again!

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