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HELP -12 year old stepson poops and pees on his floor!
An_244963 posted:

I have 4 kids, 3 are stepsons. One of my stepsons poops and pees on the floors in our house on purpose when he is angry. Particularly when he gets punished.

My stepsons lived with their mother until 2008 and moved here due to issues in her home. Right after they moved they started seeing therapists. As time went by my stepsons started disclosing some pretty serious abuse that happened with their mom and we are currently dealing with investigations about this. My other stepsons have issues too but are working with their therapists and healthier than their younger brother.

My youngest stepson is 12 and as I said he poos and pees on the floor on purpose. He also cuts clothing up, wipes feces on things, holds his poop for days, and is defiant and angry. We have tried ordinary punishments and nothing works with him. We have to monitor his bowel movements to make sure he isnt holding it and he cant be left alone at all for fear of him destroying something or going on the floor.

He has seen a physician and nothing physically is wrong with him. He only seems to do it when he is angry.

So I am clear my stepson seems completely unfazed by taking anything away, getting grounded, loosing things he like, not being able to do things he likes to do, etc.

If anyone has and suggestions on how we can help him I would appreciate it.
Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hello and Welcome -

While waiting for response from others I wanted to pass along some information.

Has he or have you discussed this with his therapist? Has he seen a gastrointestinal specialist to rule out medical problems?

I am not a doctor or health care professional, but in a search these resources popped up. They may or may not apply to your stepson's situation.

Elimination Disorders and Encopresis in Children
How Common is Encopresis?
Can encopresis be prevented?

I am sorry your family is struggling with this and hope you find answers soon,
roliver81 responded:
This may sound silly, but have you tried talking to him about what he's doing from an objective point of view? He's twelve so he's quite nearly a teenager and probably can understand if you showed him from a medical standpoint that what he's doing is unhealthy and harmful to HIM not you. We discipline kids so they'll stop doing things that will have negative consequences. By acting out in this way, he's creating consequences you can't control, exposing himself to possible illness. Remind him more than anything you just care about him. Children who have lost their mothers feel like they were robbed of the one person that everyone expects to get who will love them unconditionally. I'd tell him, I know you have more reasons to be angry than most people could have but you're hurting yourself and because I love you I can't sit idly by while you do this so let's find things to do when we're angry that won't hurt you or anyone else.
Beyond that, I'd recommend the things I'd recommend to anyone with a son this age: get him involved in social activities, whether they be sports or church groups, monitor the kinds of friends he makes, encourage him to read age appropriate books. I truly believe as he progresses in this age, a healthy developing social life will help rid him of these problems. He's going to want friends and friends won't respond to emotional outbursts the way parents do.
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