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Twin pre teens!!!
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Lolita72 posted:
Hello : I would like to introduce myself to all users. Im a single mother of 11 year old twins ( boy and a girl) Until now I have been able to manage and control situations but this year started really bad. The girl is already with her period,mood swings disrespectful,and the boy is still under control.So, she said that I dont see the things that he does, only hers! Not true! She acts with such a detachment ,she lies, Talks back,I feel weak i dont know how much more i can take ,Im alone dealing with this and I have depression issues (started post-partum) Im being firm,and my father is telling me that I need to show her more love. How can i? She wont let me in, always mentioning that I love her brother more. Please help!
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butterflygarden responded:
Welcome, Lolita72!

I am sorry to hear that your daughter is acting out. I have two girls who are two years apart in age. They are both over 18 now, but when they were preteens & teens living at home they were a handful!

The younger daughter was always saying I loved her older sister more, and that I always gave her more stuff. It wasn't true, but I think some kids just need more attention than others.

I think all you can do is show your daughter that you don't give her brother more, and then perhaps try to spend some more one-on-one "girl" time with her. She's probably starting to feel like she's growing up, but conflicted because she really just wants to play and be a kid. She sees her brother carrying on the same since he hasn't hit puberty yet.

But, my biggest tip for you is to give yourself a break. Your daughter is pushing your buttons, but you don't have to give in and you don't have to feel guilty. You're her mom, not her friend, and sometimes she is going to "hate" you. You know she really doesn't, but she needs to vent it out. Just let her do it, and be there to hug her when she calms back down.

Hope some of this helps. Hang in there!

Butterfly


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