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Teen Dating Rules
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Louise_WebMD_Staff posted:
How do you handle (or plan to handle) dating in your teens and tweens?

Do you have rules as to what age they can go out on one on one dates? Group dates?

Do you require cell phone contact?

Do you let your teen ride in their date's car?

How do you handle it when your teen dates someone you don't like?
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Boyzmomee responded:
I have a 20 year old son.

Group dates are good until about age 16, then 1:1 is allowed.

No, I don't require phone contact. Yes, my son picked up his dates in his truck.

I let my son choose his own dates/girlfriends. If there are issues we discuss but the choice is/was his.
 
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Louise_WebMD_Staff replied to Boyzmomee's response:
I am not sure what age my kids went on their first 1:1 date. They seemed to prefer group dates by far. I actually was more concerned about what kinds of trouble they could get into as a larger group than the 1:1.

We want to know where they are and when the kids were old enough to be changing locations on their own power (either by driving or being able to take public transit or riding in the car with a friend) they had cell phones and generally were expected to call if their evening plans changed drastically. In other words: You don't want your mothers up all night worrying about the fire downtown if you decided to go to Rachel's house on the other end of the town and watch Grease.

My other often reiterated rule is this: You can call any time, really ANY time and we will come get you--no questions asked. (believe me--our older children DID call at any time and we did go get them.)

Do not get into the car with someone who has been drinking, doing drugs. Do not drive or ride your bike or even cross a busy street if you have been drinking, doing drugs, worked too many hours, spent hours video gaming and are stumbling from the sunlight.

Do not get into a vehicle when the hairs on the back of your neck raise because of whatever reason or goosebumps cover your flesh. The same rule applies if you get the same feelings when you go somewhere. Call us.

Do not get in a car with a crowd of teenagers. Drivers under 18 often get distracted by multiple car riders...yes even if they are careful.

Dates I hate: kill them with kindness-I feed them, I talk to them, I spend time with them. I either really get to see the kid underneath or they vanish because the child's mother is just too nice and around all the time.
 
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Boyzmomee replied to Louise_WebMD_Staff's response:
By the time my son was 17, we had turned his life over to him. No curfews, asking permission, etc. He would, out of courtesy, let us know where he was and when to expect him.

Sometimes if we missed each other due to schedules, we would call to see how he was and he would fill us in.
 
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Louise_WebMD_Staff replied to Boyzmomee's response:
We still have our 20 year old daughter check in from time to time even though she is in another state. If she is going out of town with someone especially, we want to know she is safe. I know that seems a silly restriction since most people get into dangerous situations near home. I feel though like the people we know in the town she lives in will keep an eye out for her.
 
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Boyzmomee replied to Louise_WebMD_Staff's response:
Louise,

I really think there is a gender difference here. I think I would be more worried if she were my daughter instead of my son.
 
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Boyzmomee replied to Louise_WebMD_Staff's response:
By the way, my 20 year old son is in the military!
 
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Louise_WebMD_Staff replied to Boyzmomee's response:
The military keeps good tabs on members anyway.

You may be right--we don't keep nearly as close tabs on our 24 yo son, even when he was 20 as we do on this child. It could also be that she just is more prone to trouble and has a history of making poor decisions.
 
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Boyzmomee replied to Louise_WebMD_Staff's response:
My son went into the military at age 19. It has been very good for him.

I think as women/girls, we are more vulnerable to violence.
 
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stressed1857 replied to Louise_WebMD_Staff's response:
my rules is i have to meet the parents and speak with them absoutly no drougs my brother was killed by a dui call me for any reason they can come to the house a few times before going out so i can get to know them a little bit when they are here talk with them about plans in life and what is most important to them i can take them out to the mall or a movie it is very important to not only pay your childs friend attention but also their parents also because you can tell what they think about it and if they are just trying to impress you for their child
 
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stressed1857 replied to Boyzmomee's response:
would be just concerned about my son as my daughter i have had a chance to see some preaty crazy females trying to fight men or boys so i dont believe that about being more conerned about my daughter because i am raising my son to be considerate to females and that if he cant get away from a girl trying to fight him not to hit but try to hold her close so she cant hurt him yes i have seen alot of different things and girls can slip things into your sons drink just like he can her so no i am not more woried about my son than my daughter
 
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Boyzmomee replied to stressed1857's response:
Men are physically different from women. They are larger and stronger.

My son has never dated "crazy females" so we have not had that worry. He has always been a gentleman.

Also, I imagine the rate of males being raped by females is relatively low.
 
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Boyzmomee replied to Louise_WebMD_Staff's response:
That could be it too.

My son has a history of making good decisions.
 
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stressed1857 replied to Boyzmomee's response:
could it maybe just that men just wont admit it because they would feel less of a man. look how long it was happening before women report it. and their are still alot of it not being reported. because they feel like they let thierself down or that they believe somehow it is their fault. have you watched lifetime true storry nights lately
 
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Boyzmomee replied to stressed1857's response:
No it couldn't be.

I do not get my facts from lifetime true stories on TV.

I am a psychiatric social worker.


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Teen Dating Rules
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