Parents of Biracial Children

I hope I don't offend anyone with my opinion, but I think that to some extent non-minority parents who have biracial kids may have to accept that their kids are likely to identify more strongly with the minority part of themselves. It does not happen in every case, think Tiger Woods and other celebrities like Cameron Diaz, who don't seem to identify themselves in any way, depsite being multi-racial.

I think it happens due to peer pressure and ignorance which is unfortunate but people have to learn to cope and most people just want to fit in.
The fact is, if you look at Obama- you don't think white, you really don't even think bi-racial at first glance- he is notthat light skinned ( I'm lighter andboth my panerts are black- American, post-slavery black) and his hair is not devoid of nappiness- it's the truth and that's why biracial black kids get called black.

Another truth is that in general, balck people may talk a lot and stare a lot at interraical couples, but its' historically been that the black community IN GENERAL has been accepting of these unions AFTER they were already started and the children of those unions. You are always going to identify with and want to be like those who are nicer to you.

Also, as I was telling DH recently, little kids don't see race as much, but as children get older and wnat to define themselves- there is no real definition for biracial or multiracialthat is easy to identify by sight alone- biracial doesn't just mean black and white as is clear from this Board- so a kid who is half white and half Asian and a kid who is half black and half Puerto Rican may not think that they are the same even though they are both 'biracial'.


I don't think this fact affects the love a child will have for both parents and for both cultures if they get to experience them, but no one wants to stand out and most kids are going to grsvitate to one or the other as teens and they just usually stick with how they come to define themselves. Andif you have brown skin or Asian features, that's what you are more likely to go with as an identity because white people don't have thoise features.

Of course, I have no idea what to expect from my kids and I think life will be easier for them if they darken up a little, becuse they have no brown in thier skin at this point. But if people see me with them, they will be thought of as black ( it's just the way it is and it's changing but won't be that different in their lifetime, if ever- it's human nature to rank and define- that's how you find your place in the world), so I wonder if thye will ahve more problems beucse of the absence of darks skin- and son's getting blonder by the day hair and DD's blue eyes!

But I plan to teachthema nd I hope it stickes, that people are stupid and you have to ignore their studpity or be willing punch them in the head (just kidding, sort of)

DH & I just hope our kids don't turn outo be seemingly white looking kdis with dreadlocks- I don't personally liek them and nothign says you're searchign for an identity than havign pale skin and dreadlocks!- though I may be changing my opinion b/c my sister recntly braiding DD's haird and she lokked too cute.

Sorry this was so long- but clearly I think about this a lot. I thinkt he key is to teach your children to love themselves andas a parent to be accepting of their choices- even if they are not the ones you would make- and just know that yourkids love you!

Not to put anyone on the spot, but I would love to hear the opinion of soemone who si biracial. I have had a few biracial friends growing up, but I'm 41 and the topic was a lot less open when I was younger.

Vickie

sorry about the typos- I thought I corrected them! Hope you can read it- and I meant I don't like dreadlocks, not people with dreadlocks! :-)

I really hope my daughter doesn't just focus on the fact that her eyes are more like her dad's there for she's "Chinese". I want her to accept both being asain and white and embrace both. and I hope she embraces that she doesn't look like "everyone else", I think she got the best from both of us and looks niether "white" nor "chinese", so she wouldnt' fit into either category other then "multiracial".

Anyways, I think it's kinda sad that Obama doesn't identify with both sides of his heiritage, but it's his choice, his preference. Personally I would hope my DD choses both when her time comes.

I'm half Black and half Asian, but identify with being a Black woman more so than an Asian one. Growing up, there weren't a lot of Asians in TN, and I actually hung out with mostly white kids. I was the "token" Black girl in my honors classes, extracurricular activities like the honor society and math club, and with my friends, not the "token" Black/Asian one. I think people just put me in a box for themselves and in order to make it easier for them, I just checked that box. I didn't feel less Asian though and I appreciate my mom's culture and feel apart of it. Now that the option is present to check multiracial or muliple boxes, there are more multiracial people, and people are more cognizant of that fact, it's easier to identify with both. These days I consider myself Blasian. It's a term that Black and Asians have come up with and I really relate to this group more than anything. Most of us lived the same lifestyle growing up: Dad in the military, met Mom on a tour of duty in Korea or Japan, got married, had us, and we grew up living from military post to military post.

Acutally, there's a term now for people mixed with Asian. We're called Hapa. There's a lovely book by Kip Fuller (I think that's his name) with pictures of Hapas of all ages and they were all asked the question we always get, "What are you?" and it has their answers. LMaar, I really think it would be a great book for your daughter when she gets older.

Keep in mind, this is only my experience. It may be completely different for children born to a Black parent and a White parent due to the history of racism in America.

I hear the term Blasian... But I also hear and use the term blackasian (sounds like blah-kay-jhun). My daughter is half black half asian.