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Wendy12345678 posted:
So I just wanted to share something that happened with me and get any thoughts. I have an Irish heritage (freckles and all) and my husband is hispanic. Recently a man who obviosly had the same heritage as me asked me what country I adopted my son from! The only thing I could come up with was "he's mine". It does hurt my feelings though, that people assume that my boys aren't mine because they are darker than me. Not sure how to deal with feeling that way about it. Like I'm not represented in the gene pool.
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kfitz responded:
I understand how you feel. My dd#1 is darker like DH and it bothers me when people stare at me and DD#1 when we are out in public. I tried to prepare myself for the fact that my children may look black and may consider themselves black. Its not that they don't want to accept me as their mother, its just that daddy's genes are a bit stronger when it comes to their looks. I try to make sure they understand their Irish heritage and I keep them very involved with that side of my family too. I also see so much of my personality in her that I realize she may look like daddy, but she still has alot of me in her.
 
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heather7257 responded:
People are ignorant, but most of the time I think their intentions are pure. I have not yet gotten the adoption question outright, but I am sure I will. Sometimes people will comment on how DD is "exotic" looking. Not sure if I should be offended by that or not, but I know they mean it as a compliment so I try to just ignore it. I can't quite say for sure how I will feel when some one asks if DD is adopted but I am going to try my best to let it role off. Hanging on to it as an insult will really only ruin my day. I am sure whoever asks will have forgotten within about 5 min! Probably best to just let it go. Lord knows I have said my share of stupid things before too!

I suppose if DD was old enough to understand and be offended by the comment, I might feel differently but would still try to downplay it for her sake. Just try to focus on all the times you get people commenting on how handsome your son is!


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