Parents of Biracial Children
This exchange is for parents of biracial and multiracial children.
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family doesnt accept my kids because their biracial
An_221540 posted:
Im a mother of 4 biracial children,my mom kicked me out of the house 16 years ago when i was pregnant with my first child,i basically lost contact except for an occasional phone call to my mom.2 of my kids have never met my mom,let alone any of my other family.None of them ever try and make contact with me,but over the years its started to take it's toll on me,at this point my kids aremuch older and ask me all the time when their going to meet their grandma,aunts,uncle,ect...life SUCKS without family,my sister has a son who is spoiled rotten,only because he's the right color.All this is starting to take an emotional toll on me cause i grew up with family,and i want my kids to also.Im just asking someone should i make an effort to try and get back in their lives? or should i forget it because after all these years none have them have tried to have a relationship w/me and my kids?if i were to ask them how they feel they would just ignore me....boy does my life suck...somebody give me an answer please
2 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:family doesnt accept my kids because their biracialIm a mother of 4 biracial children,my mom kicked me out of the house 16 years ago when i was pregnant with my first child,i basically lost contact except for an occasional phone call to my mom.2 of my kids have never met my mom,let alone any of my other family.None of them ever try and make contact with me,but over the years its started to take it's toll on me,at this point my kids aremuch older and ask me all the time when their going to meet their grandma,aunts,uncle,ect...life SUCKS without family,my sister has a son who is spoiled rotten,only because he's the right color.All this is starting to take an emotional toll on me cause i grew up with family,and i want my kids to also.Im just asking someone should i make an effort to try and get back in their lives? or should i forget it because after all these years none have them have tried to have a relationship w/me and my kids?if i were to ask them how they feel they would just ignore me....boy does my life suck...somebody give me an answer please
kfitz responded:
It must be tough going thru life without your family. What about their dad's family? Are they involved in your children's lives? Maybe start by sending out pictures to your close family? Just a nice handwritten note and a picture to keep them updated of what is going on in the kids' lives. I would send these to your mom and siblings. Maybe once they atart seeing the kids and hearing about them they will realize what they are missing. Try to be as sweet as possible in the note and jsut talk about the kids. Don't pressure about them missing their family or anything. Then just see what happens. Maybe it'll work.
Report This| Share this:family doesnt accept my kids because their biracialIt must be tough going thru life without your family. What about their dad's family? Are they involved in your children's lives? Maybe start by sending out pictures to your close family? Just a nice handwritten note and a picture to keep them updated of what is going on in the kids' lives. I would send these to your mom and siblings. Maybe once they atart seeing the kids and hearing about them they will realize what they are missing. Try to be as sweet as possible in the note and jsut talk about the kids. Don't pressure about them missing their family or anything. Then just see what happens. Maybe it'll work.
heather7257 responded:
I am so sorry, that must be a terrible feeling. If your family was really close when you were growing up, it makes me think that they would also be missing you too. If it were me, I think I would try to have a talk with mom. Get her side of the story and see how she is feeling. You might find out that there has been a misunderstanding or maybe even an entierly different reason for their coldness. If she is not going to love and accept your children or at least make an effort, than I would probably keep my distance, focus on your four wonderful children and befriend some older couples that can serve as "fill in" grandparents.
My parents were strongly opposed to me dating my (now) husband. I never knew that there would be anything that could make us be at such odds with eachother. It was shocking, hurtful, and heart-sickening. They have since overcome their prejudices and accept and love my husband and daughter as their own. It took a long time though and was not easy for anyone. Prejudices that you grow up with run deep, and as awful and wrong as they are, I think that they are hard for most people to overcome.
I wouldn't expect things to be suddenly fixed by you reaching out, but your mom has to at least want to make an effort. If she is not willing to do that to keep you in her life, than as sad as it is, you will probably have to move on. You have my heartfelt sympathies. Good luck and let us know how things go.
My parents were strongly opposed to me dating my (now) husband. I never knew that there would be anything that could make us be at such odds with eachother. It was shocking, hurtful, and heart-sickening. They have since overcome their prejudices and accept and love my husband and daughter as their own. It took a long time though and was not easy for anyone. Prejudices that you grow up with run deep, and as awful and wrong as they are, I think that they are hard for most people to overcome.
I wouldn't expect things to be suddenly fixed by you reaching out, but your mom has to at least want to make an effort. If she is not willing to do that to keep you in her life, than as sad as it is, you will probably have to move on. You have my heartfelt sympathies. Good luck and let us know how things go.
Report This| Share this:family doesnt accept my kids because their biracialI am so sorry, that must be a terrible feeling. If your family was really close when you were growing up, it makes me think that they would also be missing you too. If it were me, I think I would try to have a talk with mom. Get her side of the story and see how she is feeling. You might find out that there has been a misunderstanding or maybe even an entierly different reason for their coldness. If she is not going to love and accept your children or at least make an effort, than I would probably keep my distance, focus on your four wonderful children and befriend some older couples that can serve as "fill in" grandparents. <br /><br />My parents were strongly opposed to me dating my (now) husband. I never knew that there would be anything that could make us be at such odds with eachother. It was shocking, hurtful, and heart-sickening. They have since overcome their prejudices and accept and love my husband and daughter as their own. It took a long time though and was not easy for anyone. Prejudices that you grow up with run deep, and as awful and wrong as they are, I think that they are hard for most people to overcome. <br /><br />I wouldn't expect things to be suddenly fixed by you reaching out, but your mom has to at least want to make an effort. If she is not willing to do that to keep you in her life, than as sad as it is, you will probably have to move on. You have my heartfelt sympathies. Good luck and let us know how things go.
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