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Trying so hard...
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pdm_diva posted:
I've been trying so hard lately to accept everything; it's not even been a year since I first learned of my diagnosis. Everyone thinks I should be okay with it. They tell me you are young you shouldn't worry about it, or you will grow out of it, and you'll have kids when the time is right. And for a while, I thought I was okay. We got a dog, and I was happy with that, she was my rock, my light, she was my baby. And when she was hit and killed by a car last month, it was like I lost my child. In my mind she was my child, I'm not sure if or when I will ever have a child, and don't want to go through all kinds of medical crap to try and force it to. So if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, but she was my replacement for the time being. And ever since we lost her, I kind of feel like I have nothing to look forward to because we won't get another dog now, we will wait till the spring. I do have a cat, but he's such a pain, and does not like attention. And it seems like hubby doesn't understand, no one understands... I know it will happen when it's meant to, I know that having PCOS is not a death sentence and I will more than likely conceive at some point, but right now, right now it f*cking sucks... There are some days I just want to drive off of a cliff. Everyone thinks it should be so easy to get over, and for a while I've kind of felt like, that's what they think, that's what I'm going to try and portray, but I'm only lying to them and to myself. Telling people I've accepted it, and am okay with it, when people ask about it, how's it going, I say nothing has happened, but oh well, that's life, it doesn't matter, but inside I was screaming, what are you talking about?! You know how much it matters to you, why are you hiding and denying yourself the chance to grieve?! But I put that little voice in the back of my head and try to ignore it, but lately it's gotten louder and louder, and harder and harder to ignore, until it's come to this point where it's screaming, and I can't contain it anymore. I can feel this pressure building inside, either I'm going to burst or I need to do something to relieve it...

I need to do some more research and take a more pro-active approach to this. I've been going along thinking if I only lose weight things will happen. But now that I know of a friend who is also dealing with this, she got surgery to lose weight and so far has lost over 120 lbs, but months later, still nothing. It makes me worried, so far I've lost 35ish pounds and still nothing, I could continue on trying to and see if it works, but more than likely no matter how much I lose it's not going to get any better. That doesn't mean I won't continue trying to lose weight I am trying to get healthier as well. But I'm not going to put all my faith in that anymore.

Anyways, I just needed to vent, I'm sure this post is kind of all over the place, but I don't know where else to vent at...

thanks... — T
Dx w/ PCOS January 2010; TTC for 2 months
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Annie_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi pdm_diva,

I'm sorry that you've lost your beloved pet dog! ((Hugs))

I hope you will come on over the our WebMD Pet Health Community and check out the Pet Health Center too.

Take care!

- Annie
 
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AnaSagoo responded:
Dear Diva(sorry i dont know your real name)


I've been diagnostic with polycystic ovary too and I am only 22....actually First time Ive found out i have that its been when I was like 17 years old....I am not sure why i have that and at some point it was all gone but now ive been to do a check up as me and my hubby decided for a baby too and they are giving me some meds to take. I recently lost my cat too just like you she ment everything to me and for few weeks ive been cryng and cryng after her like she was my only baby.... Its sooo hard....everytime i used to see her pictures it was like someone was putting presure on my chest and couldnt breath....so now i can see that i am not the only one who loves animals soooo much....Ive been reading online abt if you can get pregnant being diagnostic with this type of thing and lots of people said yes....i think most of womens have this in their life so its not a limit i like to think. At the moment we dont have even a month since we are tryng but I ll keep you in touch...Another thing is, i dont want to upset you or say something stupid or anything, but have prepared this ovulation calendar u know-it might be that because of this syndrome our periouds arent coming regulary but just keep tryng it and enjoy next to ure hubby xx keep in mind that a child in a house is a hand send from God....sorry abt my english writing is not perfect....
loce chloe


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