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Nosy Well-Meaning Co-Workers Driving Me Nuts
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MamaMellifluous posted:
I would really like to know what other mothers over age 35 have to say about what I am dealing with at my new job. I work in a very small office. My boss, a woman, had gestational diabetes during her last pregnancy, which, like my current pregnancy, was much later in life than her prior pregnancies, and over the age of 35. She recently gave me a good "talking to" about how I should be worried about all manner of things, including a lengthy and heated explanation about her gestational diabetes experience. Four of seven of my co-workers have now made comments about how much I am eating, one freaked out at me today in a meeting when I said I wanted to bring strawberry shortcake to our Friday-communal-lunch, and said, "YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO EAT SUGAR!!" Why do my fellow office workers feel they can make medical diagnosis??? I am seriously being harassed by people who are alternately bringing me their maternity clothes, and being very nice. I have no health insurance yet because I have been fighting with the state for state coverage for nearly two months now (since shortly after I found out I was pregnant), and have yet to be approved. I don't make enough for private health insurance, nor to pay out of pocket for prenatal care, so they are giving me heck about that, too, and I have no doctor to tell me that they are wrong. HELP!!!! I found the statistic about gestational diabetes occurring in only 4% of pregnancies on this site, but I can't find statistics for it specifically for moms-to-be over the age of 35. Anyone got any sources I can quote? All their nosiness and worry about my business is stressing me out, which is bad for the baby. I'm new at the job, and this nonsense is coming from my manager on down. ???
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phoenix31674 responded:
Is there a low/no cost women's clinic you could seek care at? also states offer medicaid for pregnant women since prenatal care is so important (which is what I assume you are trying to access). They shouldn't be dragging their feet over this. You really do need to see a doc.

as for their nosiness, I'm afraid there is nothing you can do about it until you see a doc or midwife and can tell them that you do not have GD. Of course most tests for that are not given until around 20-24 weeks anyway. For reasons I don't understand, when a woman is pregnant suddenly people seem to think that what you eat, drink, do or don't do is their business. just say, thank you for your concern, but there is nothing wrong with the occasional treat. If they know you haven't seen a doc yet, I'm sure this is contributing to them trying to micromanage your behavior.

Is there an HR department or someone senior to your manager you can approach.
 
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jlenn responded:
If there is an HR department, go to them right away and let them know you feel uncomfortable with all the medical advice and judgments and talking about your medical issues/imagined diagnoses/etc at work. Ask them to handle it.

If there is no HR, what I'd do in your situation is address the problem directly, and without trying to argue with them or change their minds. Have a conversation with your boss about it -- let her know you appreciate her concern, but the office talk about you and your medical history and potential problems has got out of hand; that people's insistence on discussing your medical situation is very distracting, and ask for her help in solving this problem.

You can also just disengage whenever anyone talks to you about this. "Thanks for your concern, I'm fine and handling everything the way I need to" and then change the subject immediately. Don't argue back. If they return to the subject, say again "I appreciate your concern" and again change the subject. Eventually, they will get it. Just don't engage them!!
 
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skimom41 responded:
By law, states only have 30 days to either approve or deny your application for medicaid. I have, however, found that they seem to be able to drag this out by needing one small thing after another. The best solution I have found is to go into their office, since many of them no longer answer phones, and take every piece of info you can imagine. A good list includes: your birth certificate, social security card, drivers license, lease (if you lease your home), previous 30 days of pay stubs, and most recent bank statement. If you have other children, you need their birth certificates and ss cards also. It is a pain, but you can usually get to the bottom of the problem in one afternoon and save yourself a lot of worry.


Also, many OB/GYNs will accept you as a patient if you give them a photocopy of your medicaid application, and just wait to do any billing until you are approved.

On another subject, I am 41, and 30 weeks. My perinatologist said there is no reason why healthy women can't or shouldn't have babies until they are 50. I doubt many of us would opt for that, but it was comforting to hear an expert's opinion.

Congratulations! Babies are so wonderful!


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