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    First steps to conceiving at 38
    lemoga posted:
    Hello everyone!

    I decided a forum like this will be a great opportunity for support along this journey. My birthday is this coming Friday... 38 years old! After a lot of ups and downs, I finally met the man I'm going to be with always. There are a couple kinks when trying to have a baby... he has a vasectomy and I'm going to be 38. I hear so many negative comments about women 38 and older, trying to have a baby. I'm looking forward to existing in a positive support space here. I've really struggled with other friends getting pregnant, and receiving "sad eyes" from family members who wish I would have conceived long ago.

    I go to the obgyn next week to start asking questions about my fertility, etc. I hope everything goes well. I receive so much advice from family and friends about whether we should do a reverse vasectomy, IVF, donor sperm, etc. My partner is open to anything, although the costs associated with IVF scare us both a bit. I should add he has 2 children from a previous marriage (of which are very excited to share in this journey).

    Thank you for listening!
    Mamihlapinatapai responded:
    I would ignore the "sad eyes" bit if you can. Women are having children later and later in life because of careers, divorces, etc. All the necessary things in life that you can't avoid. And some people are just not ready until later. We had our first when my wife was 36...trying for a second (two miscarriages so far). Friend of ours had her third just shy of 40. My sister had two back-to-back at 38 & 39. My wife was born when her mom was 45.
    And, please, stay away from the statistics. They do nothing for your journey other than to scare you. And statistics are often very misleading.
    The most elementary and valuable statement in science--the beginning of wisdom--is 'I do not know.'
    lemoga replied to Mamihlapinatapai's response:
    Thank you so much for these words of encouragement. Today is my birthday and this was just the thing I needed. Thank you.

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