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38, newly single...want a baby
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Crys68 posted:
I am a newly single 38 (almost 39)...being single wasn't in the plan but here I am. I want a baby very badly. My questions are...Is there a test my doc can do that will help me better decide if I need to try to have one on my own or If I have time to wait and see if I meet someone special again. I thought I was getting a family but that didn't work out. I don't want to give up my dream of having my own by waiting too long. Can they see if I have eggs and about how many? If I need to, I would try to have one on my own using "purchased" sperm from a bank. Not my perfect choice, but...Leads me to question 2...Has anyone ever purchased sperm to inseminate yourself on your own? Any advice.

Thanks, Chris
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kauai2k responded:
Well, I have no experience with sperm banks, so I can't help you there.

But I would wonder if you researched such a place what their protocols would be. Would they test you for health issues or would they expect you to have already done this? I won't know.

I do know that a consult with your OB/Gyn should start the ball rolling for sure.

Good luck.
 
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Tracey0601 responded:
Crys, Good luck with you future choices.. it sucks being a woman when the relationship falls apart and then part of our dream of being a mommy is so cruelly crushed...but you are right! You have choices!

Have your dr measure your FSH levels and estrogen. Also, the Fairfax VA sperm bank is supposed to be one of the best in the states.

good luck!!!
 
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Crys68 responded:
Thanks for your replies...Yes..it does suck! To make the mommy yearning worse is that he had 2 boys which I obviously was a step-mom too, and now they are gone as well. I miss them more than I miss him. So, I will be making a doc appt soon. Can you tell me what the FSH levels are? I am hoping that having a normal period, every 28 days almost to the day means that everything is still working ok. ) Does anyone know anybody who had become a single mother by choice...I'd love to chat with some that made the big decision.

So hard to decide...Thanks everyone!

Chris
 
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psc1970 responded:
Well, I am in the same boat... 39, single and dated all the wrong guys... so I am going to become a mom on my own. I go in this weekend for the insemination. Here is the route I took: Went to Fertility Doc, he explained how babies are made to me... ha ha, I thought "are you kidding"??? But, he said it takes "healthy eggs" "healthy sperm" and a place for those to grow for 9 months. Since I am going to use donor sperm, we know the sperm will be healthy. He said "Let's go in and take a look at your uterus and see how it looks?"... RIGHT THEN AND THERE, YEP, we went into a room with his nurse and they did an ultrasound and found that i had polyps... probably the reason that I never got pregnant (when I was trying with ex-fiancee)...He said "Let's get those out of there and continue with the treatment" I made an apointment for surgery and had the polyps removed by hysteroscopy surgery. The recovery from that was a piece of cake and had to wait 6 weeks to heal. After my first period, they checked my FSH level and it was normal (7--not perfect but still in the normal range). Then they drew blood to make sure my hormones are all ok... and those tests came back perfect. They did an ultrasound on the next cycle (day 2--it is messy but hey, worth it), nurse said that my uterus now looked great and ovaries were "boringly normal". They started me on clomid for 5 days on that day... and then for day 12, they gave me a shot of Menopur... I am now testing for ovulation and have another ultrasound tomorrow... I cannot wait to be pregnant!!!!

Anyone else planning to be a SINGLE mom? And also, do you have plans if you end up with multiples???? I know it is crazy but I am secretly hoping for twins--so I will be finished with my family and then maybe Mister Wonderful will finally find me!!
 
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LexyRose1966 responded:
Well, don't give up on meeting Mr. Right just yet! I met my husband when I was 39 1/2, and got married 2 days before turning 40! Then, I had my baby at 42, with terrible odds of getting pg due to uterine surgery when I was 38. I was supposed to start my family with my 1st husband after 35 years old, but he too had a change of heart. You already got good advise from the other women on some other options. Oh, and speed date! At this age, there is no need to spend a lot of time with them if they are not in sink with your goals...hard to do without scaring them away but it can be done!

Good luck,

Lexy Rose
 
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kelsaifi responded:
A good friend of mine was married and always wanted kids but he didn't want any. Her marriage fell apart when she was 40. She went back home for a break over the holidays, met the guy of her dreams, came home, sold everything and moved back home.t I heard she was very happily married and had a child when she turned 42. She is now living her dream. I don't hear from her anymore, but God works in mysterious ways. I married the man of my dreams 4 years ago, had DS 2 years ago and am now waiting for DD in September.

The pp had some really good info. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Good Luck!
 
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happycat7 responded:
I met my DH just after I turned 39. We got married 7 months later, 1 month after that I was pregnant with DD1. Neither of us had been married or had children prior to meeting each other. Don't give up on meeting someone. Best wishes for a happy future.
 
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LuV4Autumn responded:
Hey Chris...

I was married at 26 and divorced at 30 because we had planned a family together, then he refused. He now has children with his current wife. I moved 3,000 miles away to start my life over and met my DBF 3 years ago. After being told for 16 years I could never conceive, and after being told about 2 years ago I should have a hysterectomy... we got pregnant last June and I now have my beautiful, happy baby girl napping right next to me. Don't take my time frame into consideration... I wasn't dating much at all and was VERY cautious when I met DBF. I just wanted you to know, at 37 I just had my first and to let you know not to give up hope.

I understand your decision is a tough one. I have a friend that is living life to the fullest this year (vacations, girls night out, etc...) and has decided if she doesn't meet the right guy she'll proceed with insemination next year. I give both of you credit for researching it...

Best of luck to you in whatever you choose to do.

 
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kerrib1971 responded:
I say don't give up on being a mother. It is the greatest gift ever given to me. If I end up single, I will not regret having my children one little bit.

I know they can harvest your eggs and I believe they can check the quality of your eggs at that point. I considered buying from a sperm bank when I was married to #3. We found out a month after married that he was sterile and due to a lot of weight loss my dr. thought I might be able to finally conceive. He was not at all open to the idea and said he was not paying 18 years for something that wasn't his. Needless to say that marriage didn't last long.. selfish pig! I looked into a sperm bank in CA. It is actually quite impressive and you can even pick from IQ levels amoung physical traits. With is being shipped(it has to be specially shipped to stay frozen..etc) I believe it would have only been about 350.00. Without having my eggs harvested and just having my dr. go through to process of insemination it would have been about 200 for the dr. fee and then medications would have been additional. They do make sure you are ovulating..etc. I wouldn't do it on your own and would talk to your OB openly about your options.

Good luck! I hope this helped.
 
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kauaishell responded:
I am in the same boat you are almost 38 and newly single..I was just wondering how everything turned out for you.


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