Pregnancy: After Infertility Community

Okay...I spent the weekend feeling completely terrible on Saturday and hanging out with my family on Sunday. I didn't however, get a start on any report cards that I have due this Friday So, looks like I'll be straight out this week working on those.

I really, really, really don't want to have to wait another whole week before my next u/s. Every cramp I feel and everytime I go to the bathroom I am terrified. I had a quarter-sized clot this weekend, followed by absolutely nothing, but I'm a nervous wreck. I never thought I'd be grateful to feel like comlete junk. This constant nausea is a beautiful reminder that the baby is still growing. But, I still can't help but want to keep my eyes closed in the bathroom I am SOOOO renting a doppler once it's time.

Maura - ditto on feeling completely terrible but finding comfort in it! DH asks every day how I'm feeling and when I say awful his response is always "no offense, but I'm glad."

I am the same way when I go to the bathroom and have had a few dreams that I find I am bleeding when I go. I'm hoping its just me worrying and not a bad sign.

My third u/s is Wednesday along with my first full ob appointment. I'm completely nervous even though my doctor said at my 7 week u/s that everything looked "perfect." I feel like the m/c in March is taking a lot of my excitement away from this pregnancy which is sad. I know I have no control over the outcome and keep reminding myself that everything has gone well thus far.

Hoping to get through the next two days with fingernails left!

Hang in there and good luck with the report cards. I hope this week goes smoothly with no more cramping or clots.

Take care,
Emma

Good luck with the ultrasound Wednesday Nicole, please keep us informed of how things go!

Take care,
Emma

I hope your appt. on Wednesday goes smoothly! I think my biggest issue is that I am still in disbelief that the IVF worked. DH and I spent so long trying and I think I had resolved myself that DS would be it. We were trying to give him a sibling but I had less than a 25% chance of it working.

I think the fears/dreams are us trying to protect ourselves if something goes wrong. A defense mechanism of sorts. If I don't completely let myself go and believe in this pregnancy and be excited, then if something goes awry, it won't hurt as badly.

I was talking to my mom and sis and they both said "but everything has been fine and you know that women experience these things with normal pregnancies. You saw the hb"

Oh well. I have to talk myself into believing that there's nothing I can do about it either way and to just relax. If this baby isn't healthy and is going to m/c, it's going to happen no matter what. And if it is healthy, I know that I'm being healthy and safe and that I'm not doing anything to cause a m/c.

One good thing I've discovered about my body and being pg: it likes to lose a little weight. I definitely have a high BMI and am in the "gain no more than 15 pounds" category. I lost 30lbs when I was pg with DS in the first 5 months and then gained 31 so I ended up technically gaining 1 pound throughout the pregnancy. My doc was pleased. He knew I was losing weight because I was eating much healthier, smaller portions to ward off heartburn, and not drinking any soda. I just wish I had the self control to follow the "pregnancy" diet when not pg...

Maura, if there is anything that my pregnancy has taught me so far it's that miracles really do happen...and it sounds like that's exactly what you have growing inside of you as well. I am in disbelief myself and I'm sure you are much more so with the small percentage that IVF would have worked. I'm so happy for you and I hope and pray that your little one keeps growing strong and healthy. I've done the same as you...keep telling myself I'm doing everything I can to take care of my little one and if something were to happen it's not anything I have control over nor could I stop a m/c...as I tell my clients, we have to let go of the illusion of control because it's not in our hands.
Make you sure keep us posted after that next u/s...hopefully your week will go fast and it will be here before you know it!