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Ugh so upset today....my vent :)
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nicram8683 posted:
So I needed to do a quick vent and I couldnt think of a better place then here. I dont like to put too much personal business on facebook and if I told my husband he wouldnt get it so.....

I have been divorced from my ex husband since 2006. Bottom line he is a real piece of work. Since then he has been arrested so many times. Been in jail and been married 2 more times. He is currently unmarried. He only finally began paying child support in Dec 2011 after I had to pay money to fly to my hometown to take him to court for not paying. He has a menial job, and only has to pay $100 a month. Its stupid, but he will be paying the back support (my new hubby adopted my DD and my ex's rights were taken away) until my DD is like 23 years old at $100 a month.

So anyways, I just found out that his new girlfriend is pregnant (he has no other kids but my DD). I know this is going to sound sooooo stupid, but it just peeves me off. The first reason is that I know they couldnt have been trying, this girl is young (my ex is younger then me too) and already has kids, I think 2. And yet me & my husband had to try for like 2 years to get this baby. He is such a bad person who does not contribute to society and yet he so easily gets another child. And the other thing that bothers me, and this is where my husband would not understand, I feel so upset that he is having baby around the same time I am. I mean I have waited so long and of ALL the times since our divorce, he has a baby just a few months after me? Why? Inside of me its like it is taking something away from me. I dont know if its hormones or what, but this just broke me, I was crying I know the logical answer is that his new baby will have nothing to do with me, as we have not communicated once since 2008, but because I know, I will not forget it, and it really bothers me.

Thank you for letting me vent, even if its about something so stupid, but I had to get it out!
Nicole(28)Mike(30) 7yr old DD
Diagnosed MFIF June 2011 after 27 months no BC(12 months active trying)
BFP: 8/2011 M/C @ 6 weeks 9/2011
BFP: 10/2011 EDD 06/25/2012 It's a BOY!!
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livelaughmoe responded:
I totally understand. It takes so much to share a story of courage, and real vulnerability.
Unexplained infertility
TTC for 3 years
IUI 5 BFP
Due January 9th, 2013
 
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FrenchBulldogMom responded:
I completely understand why this upsets you. It seems like the people who are least deserving of a child are the ones who are the most fertile! I know this lady who did IVF 7 times, had 3 miscarriages, and has had 3 private adoptions fall through. I feel so upset that she has to go through so much when other people have babies just fall into their laps.

My husband's sister has two children out-of-wedlock. I don't mean to judge her just on this, but she won't even tell us who her daugher's father is. She had several one-night stands with the goal of having another child, when she could barely afford to support her oldest one. I hate to admit this, but I suspect that she got pregnant again because she wasn't getting all of the attention that she had once she had her son. My husband and I had just gotten married and everyone on that side of the family was focusing on our happy news. It irritates me that she probably doesn't even know who her daughter's father is, and this is a great disservice to my neice. She deserves more.

I'm sorry that your ex is so irresponsible. It is extremely frustrating to see someone like this get a baby "accidentally" when so many of us have gone through the blood, sweat, and tears to even have the chance to have a child.
 
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rooni134 responded:
It is terrible. there are people out there who want a child so badly and deserve one because they would take care of the baby to the best of their abilities. Then there are people who cant even take care of themselves let alone a baby. Where i live there was a big story last year about a woman who starved her 2 year old and when the little girl died, the woman stuffed her into a suitcase and put her next to the trash to be taken away. Worst part was that she was pregnant again when she was arrested.
the good thing is that you and your husband are doing everything right for your child and will make great parents
 
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codysu responded:
I'm so sorry Nicole...I know exactly how you are feeling. It is so hard to see people who neglect their children have them so easily, and then there are those of us who have struggled so hard and so long for the chance to have a child. It just isn't fair. I hope when this baby boy arrives you will be too wrapped up in taking care of your little bundle of joy that you won't have time to think about what is going on with your ex. I know it might come across your mind from time to time, but your son is so lucky to have you and your DH as parents, and so is your DD. You and your DH appreciate the children you have so much more after all you have been through, and I think that counts for a lot.
Cody 38, DH 45 - IVF 1-m/c @ 6wk, IVF 2 BFP 11-11-11! EDD 7-26-12 PINK Team!!
 
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mosleyd36 responded:
You've vented to right place because I am sure, being in our situations, that we are all very sensitive to situations like that. It is something I will NEVER understand. All I know is "people who get babies, deserve babies", is NOT the way it works. All I can say, I totally relate.
Danielle (29) DH (31) TTC since July '08. Severe MFIF. IVF 1 9/10...BFN. IVF 2 8/11-BFP m/c @ 6 weeks. FET 1 12/11-BFP! EDD 9/1/12!
 
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nicram8683 responded:
Thank you ladies so much! I knew people here would understand. I am focusing all my energy on my little boy to come & my DD. I cant believe how upset I got about it that day, but now that I have time to get over it, I know that it wont bother me as much as I thought.

Thank you all for the positive thoughts!
Nicole(28)Mike(30) 7yr old DD
Diagnosed MFIF June 2011 after 27 months no BC(12 months active trying)
BFP: 8/2011 M/C @ 6 weeks 9/2011
BFP: 10/2011 EDD 06/25/2012 It's a BOY!!


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