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Some advice
rooni134 posted:
Hi ladies,

just wanted to say hello and see how everyone is doing.

i wanted to share some wisdom, something i wish someone had told me.

I went back to work this monday and my daughter started daycare. I was in labor for 18 hours after which i had a c-section and due to some problems, i had a grueling recovery, but the pain of leaving my daughter at daycare did not even compare to all that. everyday so far when i leave her, i feel like someone ripped my heart out of my body and is repeatedly stomping on it and the feeling only goes away when i pick her up. While i was pregnant i was fully prepared to put my daughter in daycare, but nothing prepares you for the incredible guilt and pain you feel. so my advice to all the ladies who are still expecting is that if you have to return to work, please take some time to evaluate if you have to return to work fulltime or can you go back part time. If you have to do full time, then take some time to research your childcare options and really be comfortable with it. I dont have any family where i live so my only option was daycare. i did find a good one and i like the staff there but it was still very difficult. i also wish i had made some arrangement with my employer to work part time initially. if you have to do daycare full time, then spend some time at the daycare with your baby to see what it would be like with your baby when you are not there. If your daycare is accommodating, leave your baby there for a couple of hrs at first and work your way up to more hours. i wish i had done all that. i met briefly with the staff before i started but didnt leave my baby there.
anyways, just some advice for you ladies. if i can help you ladies avoid this anguish, it would make me happy. i wouldnt wish this turmoil on my worst enemy.

hope all is well

ninjarbaby responded:
Rooni! awww I'm sorry leaving her is painful. it is hard going back to work and not being able to see your baby all the time. I thought I was ok the first few days but I think I was in denial because it hit me hard mid week. I agree though, you need to make sure you're comfortable with where they'll be. I don't have family here but I got lucky. We share nanny with our landlord and I trust her completely. But it's still hard leaving my little man every morning. I can only hope it'll get better! I've only been back at work for 2 weeks so I'm still torn up. Hang in there girl!
Jane(30), DH(30), DSD(12) - TTC 1 since 2008 after m/c in Feb 2008 - Stopped actively TTC'ing in mid 2009 after unexplained IF. Surprise BFP 8/31/11! EDD 5/4/2012 Blue Team!
FrenchBulldogMom responded:
I'm sorry that you're having a tough time missing your daughter. I'm fortunate enough to only be going back to work for 2-3 days a week, and even then my Mom is going to babysit my twins for me. She's actually helping us raise them. She comes over nearly every day, and when she doesn't, we go to her house. She's so excited to have these babies in her life. She and my Dad have waited a long time for grandchildren.

I can't wait to go back to work. My babies are very demanding. Erin has really severe colic and screams nearly every night, sometimes for hours. James is a mimic. He hears his sister crying, and it tears up his nerves so bad, that he starts crying too, LOL!

You must have a very sweet, precious baby girl to be missing her so bad. How is she adjusting to her day care?
rooni134 replied to FrenchBulldogMom's response:
She is amazing! i love her so much. she is starting to get a personality and has so many expressions. My husband and i try to 'speak for her' when she makes her faces. my husband says sarcastic things on her behalf and the funny thing is sometimes the comments go with her expression and it is hilarious. so far she is pretty easy to calm. she only really cries when she is hungry or wants to go to sleep. i get sad because i miss her alert times because by the time she gets home, she is tired and ready to wind down for the day.
i am glad that your mom is helping you. I hope Erin feels better soon. the good news is that she will outgrow it soon.
i hope you are doing well as well.
my daughter seems to be doing well in daycare. they make sure to engage her by playing and talking with her and doing tummy time.

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