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deadbolts and dollars: the saga
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livelaughmoe posted:
My husbands is sorta freaking out. He is putting deadbolts on all the doors, and worrying about what were going to do when the babies born. I thought he was nesting! Haha. I wanted to stay home for a while but he says financially we can't, which I understand. I feel SO tired after so long of TTC I just want to stay at home for a while and enjoy this baby. Hubby is acting so neurotic about this. I guess I see it as I would rather lower our expenses and stay home for a while, than have to rush back to work right away. Hes worried about working himself into the ground trying to keep up financially. I understand this, but am I being selfish wanting to stay home, how do others make this work. Ideas, feedback, thoughts? Help me!
Unexplained infertility
TTC for 3 years
IUI 5 BFP M/C 8-9weeks
IUI 7 BFP due August 24th, 2012
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deliela999 responded:
LOL My sister's husband went and bought all new windows the first time they found out she was pregnant...so the house wasn't drafty for the baby. She miscarried that one. I forget what crazy thing he did the second time. I don't remember my hubby doing anything crazy.

My bosses let me take 16 weeks off because of the preemie delivery and all my complications. I was grateful because I'd been off 10 weeks when she came home from the nicu and couldn't imagine going back to work 2 weeks later. I'm working 2 days a week now and found a licensed in-home daycare that was willing to keep her 2 days knowing I'll go back to full time later. My boss agreed to 6-12 months part time, so later this year I think I'll add one day a week every few months until I'm FT again. The woman keeping her is already so in love with her she told me I could go back to full time anytime I want. I think it's a nice balance giving me more time at home with my baby I worked so hard for, but also bringing in money, using my hard earned education, and getting some adult time. We had worked hard to straighten out our finances before we started TTC, not knowing it would be so difficult. We could scrape by with me not working, but it would be painful so PT will work for a while and we've been able to build a healthy savings account to fall back on if we need to. It's a hard decision to find what will work for you.

We were able to get mostly hand-me-down baby gear so that saved a ton of money and people keep giving us clothes and other items. Diapers are our biggest expense now and I'm shopping sales and using coupons. DH is grossed out by cloth or I'd consider that. Since she was a preemie I had to start pumping and she's never done well breastfeeding so I keep pumping. We're fortifying my milk with formula, but it's very little so a can lasts 3 weeks. I added up and it would cost us about $30 a week if she was all formula, partially because the preemie formula is extra expensive. I keep reminding myself of this as I get tired of pumping. Breastmilk is better for her anyway, but pumping is a such a pain! I figure since I'm not earning as much I can put some extra effort into saving money where I can.
 
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Leah25Brooke2 responded:
I'm taking 12 weeks off, and I should have enough PTO to get paid my regular pay check for the 3 months. But I only work part time consistently. They offered me two full time jobs that I turned down, and they were gracious and settled on having me part time. I did this because I have a daughter who is my world, and it is absolutley imperative to me that I raise her, and no one else. I work night shift at a hospital and my husband and MIL take care of her while I sleep/am gone. I work one night one week, two nights the next and they provide me with great health insurance. Which is why I work in the first place.

I understand the financial strain, but those first few weeks and months are so precious and you will never get them back. They are so important also for the bonding. I would try to work with your husband some more to see if you can take more time. It's so important and if there's any way you can make it work, it's definitely worth it.
Me(26) DH(29) DD 3.5 TTC 2 16 mos. 5 rounds of clomid - unsuccessful. Natural BFP - EDD 8/7/13
 
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beckyatmoms responded:
LURKING....DH and I have been trying to figure out a way for me to stay home with my girls. It is very hard. We could do it with just his income but it would be extremely tight. We now have 4 kids and incedental expenses pop up ALL THE TIME! Especially when they are in school. My oldest had braces and the second will surely need them in the next few years. Right now I work full time (no option for part time in my line of work). I really would love to stay home with them and there is a possiblility that by next year I may be able to. In the meantime I just try to remind myself that me working is the best thing for my entire family and there really isn't much choice but to accept it. I did stay home for 17 weeks though (babies were in the NICU for the first 7), which was nice.
Becky (35) DH (31) DS (12) DSD (6) MFIF TTC 3 1/2 years
IVF 1 (2/10) BFN
IVF 2 (3/11) BFN
IVF 3 (12/11) BFP....TWINS....EDD 8/23/12...PINK TEAM!
 
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Leah25Brooke2 responded:
Hows it going livelaughmoe? Haven't heard from you in awhile! Hows your DH? Has he settled down? How far along are you now? I'm 16 weeks 3 days. I'm getting excited for my next u/s next week. Let us know how you're doing!
Me(26) DH(29) DD 3.5 TTC 2 16 mos. 5 rounds of clomid - unsuccessful. Natural BFP - EDD 8/7/13


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