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    I'm having a hard time feeling excited about this....
    JWoob posted:
    Has anyone else experienced this? DH and I TTC for 3 years, 7 years ago and had all but given up. I never thought I'd be able to give the coveted news,"I'm pregnant!" We started adoption home studies. I decided two years ago I was going to give this another try until I turned 40. I went on a 6 month "break" with Lupron (shuts down your reproductive 6 months ever after 23 years of the most horrible periods), then an HSG cleared my tubes...and here I am...on the couch....nauseated as can be....after my very healthy 8 week ultrasound complete with baby's heartbeat wondering how I'm going to handle this. I had written this body was not going to allow me this joy. Am I still wondering if it's a dream? Or a joke? How do you just wait for something for 10 years, and then find the excitement you expected to have? I'm just straight up scared....and still very doubtful.
    mrs62610 responded:
    Having not ever tried for as long as you have, I'm sure you were in a different emotional state than I was when I finally got pregnant. I can only say that it is probably the hormones making you feel this way. I would talk to your dr about it, but I have a feeling this will pass when you start feeling better and get more adjusted to the hormones. Congratulations and I hope you do start to feel better soon!
    Me-25 DH-38 Expecting our 1st! After 21 months and different medicine combos and IUI's, we conceived with our 1st IVF cycle. Not finding out the sex before hand! EDD 10/18/13
    susan1777 responded:
    I think it's completely normal for you to be feeling what you're feeling. I tried for 5 years, thru all the different tests, surgeries, drugs, multiple IUI's and IVF's, only to have one disappointment after the other. When we were told out last IVF worked, I was in shock and almost instantly in total fear that it wouldn't last. What actually made things worse for me is that I had ZERO nauseousness or sickness...I actually prayed every day to feel sick so that I would know things were going ok. The wait from the first u/s check at 6 weeks to the 10 week u/s was an eternity filled w/ fear. I had myself totally convinced at the 10 week u/s that the baby wasn't going to be alive. My husband brought a video camera and I made him swear not to turn it on unless we found out by some shock that things were ok. They couldn't even find the baby using their regular u/s machine, and it was a heartbreaking eternity waiting for them to find their internal u/s machine in their office. I was sobbing by the time the Dr came in w/ the internal machine just convinced that the baby had stopped growing and that's why they couldn't find it. To my suprise though, it was there.
    I still couldn't relax at all, and inspected my body for signs of anything to let me know the baby was still growing as it was my first and it took forever for me to show or to feel movement (she was facing my back at first so it took a long time to feel movement).
    At our 20 week u/s, they discovered the baby had a heart arrythmia, and that brought on all new fears. Had to have weekly u/s at the fetal cardiac specialist for 2 months as they had to just keep watching her heart. I couldn't bring myself to start a nursery or buy any baby things for fear that I would m/c and I'd have to stare at that stuff.
    Finally at the start of my last trimester, her arrythmia went away and I think it was the first time that I ever felt semi-sure that this whole pregnancy thing was real...yet still EVERY night before I could go to sleep, I had to push on my belly a lot to get her to move so that I could relax enough to sleep...and I did that every day until I delivered.
    In the end I felt robbed that I feel like I wasted my pregnancy always being nervous and scared that something bad would happen, but our brains are powerful things, and you hear so many years of bad news and let downs, that you just convince yourself that it'll never happen and if it does, that it's not real. It was the greatest most relaxing sound to hear her screaming when she came out...made it all worth it. Just know that because we had to take such a long journey to get here, our appreciation for our blessings are probably just a little bit stronger and deeper than those that got there so easily.
    You're strong, we're strong, and soon you'll be able to hear that baby cry and that final relaxation that least until you take your baby home...then it's a lifetime of a different kind of worry .
    Hang in there, you're defintely justified to feel what you're feeling, but you WILL make it through .

    Take care,
    Was on ITSG since May of 2004....due to PCOS, tubal, and male factor issues, 5 years of TTC, numerous surgeries, IUI's, and 3 IVF's later, our little girl, Shelby Faith, was born on 5/29/09.
    JWoob replied to susan1777's response:
    Thank you so much, both of you, for your replies. Susan...thank you for taking the time to comfort me even though your daughter is 4 now...I can't tell you how much it means to me that you've reached out here. I was even attending an infertility support group, so it's difficult to share the happy news with those who are still suffering. Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. (P.S. I will try to be grateful for the nausea...I can see that it's a good thing)
    susan1777 replied to JWoob's response:
    No problem, it's like an unspoken sisterhood really on these boards. I came to these boards just 3 months after we started trying, and never left. I don't post a lot, but just can't seem to break away, lol. I just look for updates and post just when I feel like I need to say something. I'm glad I could help.

    A lot of the outside world can't understand how we can't get excited about our pregnancies after they finally happen, unless they know someone close that's gone thru it. The world thinks once we see that postitive test that all our worries should be over and we should be beaming, and that's definitely not always the case. We get robbed of the blissful "glowing" 9 months that so many others get to experience I think.

    Lol, you don't have to be grateful for the nausea (but I definitely got some insane looks and comments when I would tell people that I prayed every day to puke, lol).

    Just take it one day at a time, and know that whatever emotions you're feeling, whenever you're feeling them in this pregnancy are valid, and even though "the rest of the world" doesn't think it's "normal" to feel that way, in our infertile world, it totally is.

    I hope your nausea eases and you continue to have a strong pregnancy .
    Was on ITSG since May of 2004....due to PCOS, tubal, and male factor issues, 5 years of TTC, numerous surgeries, IUI's, and 3 IVF's later, our little girl, Shelby Faith, was born on 5/29/09.

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