I know I'm not pregnant anymore, so why am I posting? Well, because it's about pregnancy. I have just been feeling so odd lately. I'm not sad or depressed... I just feel... empty. Like I'm missing something. I love my little angels, but I feel empty now that I'm not pregnant. Like I said, I'm not sad or anything, so happy with my new LO.. but I miss being pregnant and knowing that there is a little life inside of me. I didn't feel this way with my other DD. This is so weird and I feel kinda crazy! I feel like I want to TTC, when she's only 3 months old!! What is wrong with me?!
Hi Leah. I haven't been on in forever. I had my daughter on 11/13. I saw this post and thought I would see how you are. Are you planning on having any more? Me and DH are going to have to decide what we want to do. It took almost 10 years for us to get our first and we want more but we aren't getting any younger! Obviously we have a ways before we could even try, but the time will come when we need to decide that. I just don't know what to do!
CONGRATS! How did the delivery go? How is your LO? You must be in heaven right now! What's her name? My little girls name is Emma.
I'm feeling better, I think the feeling of sadness/emptiness is because I lost a little boy six years ago. I came home from the hospital without him. I remember looking in the mirrior at my body, no longer pregnant, and feeling this huge void and emptiness because he was gone. I think thats why I have felt a little off this time, just lingering feelings of loss.
We are wanting more. Emma is almost 4 months, and we aren't doing anything to stop pregnancy. We have gone back and forth on what to do and we decided that we are just going t leave it up to God and if we conceive again soon, then we'd be happy. I find myself already paying attention to CM and ovulation. I think I will always want to be pregnant. lol.
But enough about my sob story.. I hope you are well! I know it was a long time coming for you! Congrats again and I'd love to hear how it's going!
Thanks. And I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine.
LO's name is Kaelyn Marie. I was 40w 3 days and my doc was going to induce me on the 13th. They were predicting a week and a half earlier that she was 9lbs 4 oz! So, I went on the 12th for a regular appointment and find out when to be at the hospital the next morning. My BP was high for the first time though. So, they had me lay there for 30 min and checked again and he said he was sending me over. It was just high and I was not dialated or progressing at all. so, They gave me something that night to ripen my cervix and had planned on starting pitocin at 6am the next morning.
So, at about 4:15am my water broke. After that the contractions came on full force and very painful. DH said the monitor was all crazy. So, they gave me something in my iv to take the edge off. Problem is that I have a high tolerance for pain meds and it didn't work. The nurse said she wasn't gonna give me the pitocin because I would murder her! So, my doc showed up about 6:30am and he heard me crying from the hall. It was bad and I have a high pain tolerance also. So, he checked me and I was only 1 1/2cm and he told them to give me the epidural. So, about 30 min later they came. DH almost went down when they did it....I think when he was done DH realized what he had just done!
Problem with the epi is it only worked on the left side. So, I put up with it as best as I could and then couldn't anymore. So, they started shooting me up with lidocain. The contractions were crazy but I wasn't really dialating. At 5pm my doc said I was just about a 4 and he would be back in 2 hours to check me again. BTW, each time they checked me the lidocain and left side epi like, went away and they had to come in and give me more....it was crazy! So, he said if I wan't any further by 7-ish we would do a csection. At 7:15 he came in and said I was a 10 amd ready to go! He told the nurse that she was sunny side up and it was gonna take a lot of work. He said he would be back in an hour or so. So, they were setting stuff up and got the magic drug guy back in there and at about 7:30 I started to push. They had to go find my doc cause she was coming quick. He didn't believe it but at 7:41pm after only 4 pushes she was here!
I had a 2nd degree tear and because of the lidocain I couldn't feel my legs at all. At one point my right leg fell out of the stirrup thingy and I think I tore a muscle in my thigh. It still hurts pretty bad but I am glad I had the lidocain! My doc thought I was being a baby but he put an internal contraction monitor in at one point and was like...oh! Those are serious contractions! So, it was pretty crazy, but amazing. Now we are trying to adjust. She has a heart murmur but we went to a cardiologist and it is very minor and nothing they are worried about at all. And she has some pretty bad acid reflux and was just put on prevacid and a very expensive soy formula. We haven't screamed today so that is a good thing!
I don't know what we will decide about ttc another. I am still just 2 weeks out so I need more time! We do want another though. Glad you and your LO are well! Emma is such a cute name!
Wow!! First of all, I love the name!! How beautiful!! And second - wow! What a birth story! Sorry about those painful contractions - ugh! But at least you didn't have to have a section! Glad she is here and healthy!
Thanks. It was quite a day. And ya know...people say you completly forget the pain once you have the baby. I call BS on that! I remember it all! It was so worth it though! She is already spoiled rotten!
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