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Our perfect baby girl, Gweneth Grace, was born April 4, 2011 at 10:14pm. She weighed in at a whopping 8lb 14oz and was 21 inches long.
We arrived at the birthing center at 7pm on April 3 to begin the induction process. At this point there had been little change in my cervix; 1cm and almost 100% effaced which is where I had been holding strong for a few weeks. They inserted the Cervadil to ripen my cervix overnight. I was given a sleeping pill but neither of us got any sleep.
The following morning at 8:30am the doctor came and checked me. She started the Pitocin at 8:45am and by 10:15am the contractions were coming strong and fast, every 2-3 mintues apart. At 11:45am the doctor returned and I was only 2 cm dilated. We were really hoping for more progress since I was having such strong conrtactions so close together. The doctor decided to go ahead and break my water at this point to try and speed things up.
I was trying to hold out as long as possible before considering pain medication. I was really doing good with the pain up until she broke my water and then it turned into uncontrollable, flesh ripping, I thought I was going to die—kind of pain. I was calm on the outside but inside I was freaking out. I just wanted to scream but I knew that if I lost emotional control the pain would probably seem even "bigger" than it already was and I wouldn't be able to calm myself down again. At 1:00pm I decided to go forth with the epidural and it worked well until around 3:00pm when I started feeling contractions again.
We called the nurse and told her I was feeling the contractions again and she wanted us to wait a little while before calling the anesthesiologist because she said that the epidural shouldn't knock out all of the pain completely. At around 3:30pm we called the nurse back in and she could see the physical distress I was in and she decided to call the anesthesiologist because she knew I shouldn't be feeling everything that I was. They came in and gave me an additional dosage of something in the epidural which helped until around 5:30pm. Then it all happened all over again and then the anesthesiologist refused to give me any more and refused to try and re-do the epidural. I was in excruciating pain with contractions still coming every 2-3 minutes with no hope of pain relief.
At 5:45pm my doctor came back and checked me and I was 8cm dilated and in so much pain I was trying to contain myself but I couldn't help but to cry. All of the pain was in my lower back, all of it. Gwen was facing the wrong direction and it was putting pressure against my spine. I changed positions to try and deal with the pain and I got up on my hands and knees and turned around and started hugging the back of my hospital bed while my husband pushed as hard as he could on my lower back. The doctor said that the epidural definitely wasn't working because the dosage they had me on, I shouldn't have been able to even lift my legs, let alone get on all 4's and turn myself around on my bed all by myself with no help. I wanted to say "ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME?! I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR HOURS THAT IT ISN'T WORKING!!!", but I couldn't even talk. It was like I couldn't even remember what language I spoke! LOL!
It helped my back to be on my hands and knees but they couldn't monitor Gwen's heart rate while I was in that position. They kept losing her, so they decided to place a thing that actually screwed into the scalp of her head to monitor her heart rate. The screw had a wire attached to it and they taped the wire to my upper thigh. I remembered in the birthing class being totally against the thought of using one of those heart rate monitoring devices, but when it came down to it, I knew the benefits outweighed my apprehension behind putting a tiny screw in my baby's scalp. I knew that if it would harm Gwen they wouldn't do it.
I sorta went to a place inside of myself I didn't even know I had. The only way I could deal with the pain was to say "Whooooooooooooooo, (take a breath) Whoooooooooooooo, (take a breath) Whoooooooooooooooo, (take a breath)" in a way that made my lips vibrate. It's funny how the sensation of my lips vibrating and saying "Whoooooooooo" in the lowest tone I could helped keep me somewhat calm. I remember the nurse trying to change my breathing and was telling me to take cleansing breaths and say "he he who who", but I just stared at her unable to even consider anything she was saying because what I was doing came natural to me and I think that even if I wanted to, I couldn't change up what I was doing.
So at this point, my contractions were still coming every 2 minutes apart but I could not feel them coming and going at all. I had no relief between contractions. The worst part of it was when Gwen would move. I could feel the wire twisting inside of my vagina and the pain was beyond anything that words could describe. So, when I wasn't having a contraction she was working on moving herself into positon. She ended up turning herself around completely, all by herself. I have been told that at about this point I looked up at the celiling and sorta yelled a prayer asking God to give all of the pain to me. I didn't want my baby to feel any pain at all and to give it all to me. The true delirium begins.
At 8:10pm pushing began. I really wanted to try and stay in the position I was in (on my knees hugging the back of my bed) but the doctor wanted me on my back holding my ankles with each push. Of course the thought of being on my back again made me start crying uncontrollably and the doctor promised me that it would feel better to push. I never really felt the "urge to push". I had always heard that women felt an urge to push but I just felt the same pain I had been feeling for the past several hours, except it was worse while laying on my back. I pushed and pushed and pushed with all of the strength I had for 2 hours. She had came down into the birth canal and was "right there" where my husband could see her head for about an hour. The doctor was ready to catch for a long time and my husband said that it was obvious that everyone had thought she would be out already. I couldn't feel the contractions so they had to tell me when to push, I could only feel the constant pain. It did feel a little better when I would push, but as soon as I would stop all of the pain would rush back. The doctor kept telling me to get mad. She told me to get mad at her and I would try to do that. Then she said to get mad at the baby and I told her I couldn't do that. Then she tried encouragement and tried telling me how she was "right there" but after an hour of being told that she was "right there" I didn't believe them anymore. It was like she was having a problem with getting past a point in my vagina and as soon as she was past that point, I could feel it and I could tell that when I would push I was getting somewhere.
When she stared to stitch me up I winced and told her that it hurt and once again she commented about the epidural and how she couldn't believe I could feel what I was feeling. She injected something and stitched me up. Later we learned that our moms were standing outside of the door the entire time I was pushing and heard everything. They couldn't believe how difficult my labor was, I guess in comparison to their laboring experiences. They heard me telling the doctor how I couldn't do it, and asking the doctor to just reach in there and pull her out, and crying hysterically at times. It was the most painful experience in my life, but also the most beautiful. I would do it all over again 100 times if I had to, just have my baby girl in my arms. She is so precious and is just so beautiful. As I type this my husband just finished burping Gwen and is singing a song to her that he just made up. Life is good. All of my hopes and dreams have come true.
Thank you all so much for the support I have so desperately needed over the past 9 months. Of course you will see me lurking from time to time but I am happy to say that right now I have my hands full with smothering my baby girl with love. This message board has truly been a life saver when I felt like I had no other place to turn for support. Thank you all once again for being what my husband calls, my "secret society"! Belly pats to all of you and I wish you all a happy and healthy 9 months!
When she finally emerged I said "Oh baby! Oh baby! Oh baby!".
Our mom's told everyone about my first reaction and we have received all kinds of baby frames, photo albums, etc.. from our friends and family that say "Oh Baby!" on them.

Love - Adriana

Like Adriana said wow the tears ! I love the part where she comes out and you talk about your dream coming true because I can so much relate to that ! Really reading this makes me feel alot better like okay Marissa just breathe this baby will be fine. Im alot like you where I remember you worried about alot and I still continue to do so and think I will until I deliver this baby. I really am SO happy for you and your husband it brings me to tears on how happy I am. I really hope that you continue to lurk around WHEN you CAN lol I know your a busy mommy now, but you have much love here
I dont even have to take care of that baby girl because I know you are a amazing mother
Congratulations, good luck with everything, and have fun being a mommy you've definitely earned it


and perhaps boys too as birth control methods!! LOL
I was crying i can't believe the amount of pain you had to suffer but your right its worth it for that little bundle of joy to be all healthy and finally get to hold them in your arms..
they say back labor is the worst labor of all!!
definitely keep us posted.. how you and gwen are doing!

I am glad you told all the details, labor & delivery is just a hard thing that has to happen for that sweet little miracle. My younger sister had bad back labor & dilated slow also, so I saw first hand how painful it is; & like you she was so happy to have her baby in her arms it just didn't matter.
I can't wait for my turn!
I have heard of the meds not working and I am sorry that you were one of those that it happened to. We are going to miss you so much! You're words of reassurance and encouragement have meant the world to me and I know everyone else! Congratulations on your sweet little girl!Wishing you, your DH, and your darling daughter all the health and happiness in the world!! ((HUGS))
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