Pregnancy: After Loss Community

Michelle and Katelyn

37w4d

w/g: 21 lbs

s/c: I so hear you on the no sleeping Noelle. My back, side, legs, and groin hurt so bad plus I get up anywhere from 2-5 times a night. My pelvis is also very uncomfortable and it's harder to walk, sometimes sitting is even painful. My appetite is there sometimes but most evenings I eat dinner just to eat.

Other: We got a ton of stuff done this weekend: 3 loads of laundry, homemade applesauce from apples picked last weekend, got the final items from BRU that we needed thanks to a very generous gift card from my co-workers, made 3 meals that were then frozen into about 6 separate meals for after baby comes, disinfected all baby bottles and pacifiers, cleaned up the kitchen multiple times this weekend, went to a Paster Appreciation event Saturday night and church Sunday. I'm exhausted today but so glad all that is finished!!!

Next D/A: This Wednesday (10/5)

Morgan and Zachary
34w3d
w/g: 9 lbs.
s/c:Heartburn strikes with a vengeance most days - I'm wondering if we are going to have a baby with lots of hair! The pelvic pain is increasing, making sleeping hard. Jr is making his way south, increasing the pressure and really making me have to pee a lot.
other: Jr's room is coming together finally - And I am starting to wash all his little clothes. I can't belive he is going to be here soon! We have our last Childbirth Class tonight and a BF'ing class on Saturday. I'm excited for that one.
next D/A: Thursday - NST and OB check

Beth Ann & Baby

14w0d

w/g: Holding at -5lbs.

s/c: I feel like a broken record, but dealing more m/s. . . . nausea, fatigue, backaches and other random pains. . . *sigh*. . . I so long to feel good again. But, I know it'll all be worth it.

other: Got a huge boost in moral on Friday. . . . FINALLY got to hear LO's hb!! Yay!! I feel so relieved! I was having nightmares that we'd get to my appt and hear nothing but silence. Doc had a hard time finding it at first. She had to search around for a few minutes (just long enough that I was starting to worry!). But then she picked up the hb for a split second before the little squirt moved again. So she had to go searching for it again. Baby did NOT want to stay still! When she found the hb the second time, though, it came in loud and clear and it was the most wonderful sound! So incredibly thankful that all is going well. It's finally starting to feel real!

Next d/a: OB appt 10/27.

Yay for a HB on doppler Beth Ann! that is always a special moment no matter how many times you hear it!

Morgan, are they doing the NST bc of your BP issues?

Charlotte and Baby

21w3d

s/c: Not too much is going on in the 'symptoms department', which is just fine with me! I can feel LO moving all the time now, and if I had to venture a guess, this kid will be a soccer star! lol Some mild headaches and stuffy nose, but both of those could also be coming on because of the season's changing. Have started to notice my sense of balance is changing, and I get wobbly a lot easier. Other than that, just hanging in there and getting bigger!

other: Got a LOT of housework done this weekend: laundry, cleaned, and went grocery shopping. Whew! Like I mentioned above, my sense of balance had been 'off' just enough that I don't want to ride when no one else is home, so my horsey activities have been limited. But DH was home on Sunday, so I actually had a chance to ride! And on a bigger note, DH got to FEEL THE BABY KICK last week! He was so excited!

Next d/a: Tomorrow! Oct.4 Dr visit and Sono; will we be joining the Pink team or Blue team???

There are going to be so many of you leaving soon. Happy that you are close to meeting your LO's but sad you won't be staying with us. (but for good reasons atleast)

Heather and baby

11w6d

w/g:0 (I am back at my prepregnancy weight now was lower). could just be because I ate more while I was away on a business trip.

s/c:Vomitting has mostly slipped away except here and there. Nausea still is a regular and frequent occurance. I am more gassy boo. lol. And I get bloated much much easier. Headaches have been more frequent. And boobs still hurt boo lol.

Other: My trip to wisconsin was good other than I ate at this mexican place that made me pretty sick (and it was gross I actually tried a little bit and had to have the waiter take it away). My doppler came in while I was gone. Tried it yesterday but only could find my hb so its either too early or he/she is hiding. Which could be since he/she kept curling in a ball when the u/s tried to measure last time. (9/9). I have an u/s on friday for my integrated screen so then we will be able to see how the LO is doing. I still feel pregnant so I am not worried about the reason I couldn't find the hb. Sometimes it takes longer with the at home ones to find it. I will prob try again next week. 12 weeks tomorrow. A week from tomorrow I will be out of my first trimester yay!. And I will be in wisconsin again next week (starting sunday) and will be back on thur.

Today I am a bit bummed because today would have been my original due date. Its been harder the last couple of days because of I shoulda been getting ready to meet my LO verses hoping and praying this one will stick.

next d/a: u/s friday (10/7) and ob appt 10/19

Lurking !
Heather dont worry about not finding the h/b really DONT ! I bought a home one and sometimes even at like 20 weeks I would have a hard time finding it. They aren't as good as the Dr ones so thats why its hard

I wouldn't worry either Heather. My doctor couldn't even find it at 12 weeks b/c the baby is so little still but they did an ultrasound and we could hear it with that. There's so much at this stage that can play into not being able to hear it. Good luck and let us know how your next appointment goes!!

Oh and I completely understand being bummed but holding out hope. I found out I was pregnant again within a week of what was my EDD. It gets easier!!! I'm now 38 weeks and ready to meet DD any day! :c)

I agree with the other's, Heather. You're LO is so tiny yet and is just being shy. I'm sure everything is just fine. I wanted to get a home doppler at first too but DH talked me out of it for that very reason. He knew I'd worry myself silly if I couldn't find it and I worry enough as it is!

Also sending you some hugs on what I'm sure is a difficult day. As happy as we are to be expecting our LO's now, it's still hard not to think of the "what might have been". I'm not sure we ever forget or stop wondering what our lost LO's would have been like, but it does get easier. (((HUGS)))

Thank you guys. I am not too worried about not finding the hb with it because the at home ones aren't as sensitive as the provider ones and I still have symptoms. I actually had an extra few min on my lunch and I went home to drop off some fruit and veggies so I decided to try it one more time and I think i may have gotten it. The doppler didn't pick up the heart rate (this one comes with the little monitor thats supposed to tell you). It found my hb but once I turned it up louder and laid very still I could hear a much diff and faster beating which I can only assume was the LO. It sounded like it did at the ob office. And I have my u/s friday so I get to see the LO again which I am looking forward too. Yes, I am worried about this one sticking but this time I don't have that constant feeling like something bad is going to happen (last time I just had a feeling, of course it didn't make it any easier because even when you try not to get attatched you do anyway). I worry about it sticking but don't have the feeling its going to end at the same time like last time. Which helps a bit. And beth ann yay for getting to hear your LO's hb. Its such a good feeling. I think I will also feel a bit better once I hit tuesday of next week which will be 13 weeks. Though you never know if they may decide to change my due date again based on fridays u/s. We shall see. And I do think about my LO up in heaven quite a bit. Hard not to. And its true that I don't know if you ever really truely get over it. It may slip your mind sometimes but whether its a few words or someone that mentions they are going through something reminds you all over again. Just like the sound of the baby crying (and the gal that was 2 weeks diff in due dates thats a friend of mine having her baby) all of that stirred up things. I have just tried to keep myself busy. Hoping for the best. Just like all of you ladies. Best wishes

TRIGS ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just couldn't post yesterday...was my EDD for my Pumpkin, and I hadn't slept at all (literally, ugh) the night before, which combined to make me an emotional mess yesterday.

I agree, Heather, it's tough knowing we should be *almost there*, not still worrying if things are okay. At 19 weeks, I'm feeling a lot of movement, and the little guy kept me good company on Sunday night while I laid awake, so that helped me feel a little better. It's still hard, though. I was SO excited to have a little October Pumpkin.

Anyway, the real reason for posting - my weekly update.

Kelly & Samuel

19w4d (can't help noticing I'm about "half a pregnancy" behind where I was, too)

w/g: I dunno, 8-10 lbs I think. Kind of high for this point in pregnancy for me, sigh. Oh well - not going to worry about it.

symptoms: Still feeling great, other than the upper right quadrant pain that I think is probably a duodenal ulcer, but that's not pregnancy-related. I feel LOTS of movement from this little guy...he is an active little jumping bean! Lots of fun, and SO reassuring. Craig got to feel him maybe a week ago. Eliana has tried and tried but Samuel hasn't cooperated yet...go figure, baby brother won't cooperate with his big sister.

other: I think I put all the "other" up above...dealing with my EDD, and the upper right quadrant pain. I go to the GI specialist next week to check my liver enzymes, and I'll discuss my theory of a duodenal ulcer with them then. They're not overly worried about the pain since it's mild and my liver enzymes (ALT & AST) were normal last time they checked them. I'm pessimistically expecting them to be on the high side again, thanks to my diet (I cut out sugar for about a month before I got pregnant, and although my diet went back to "normal" once I was pg, I had my levels checked around 12 weeks and they were normal). We'll see.

I'm also concerned about what my blood pressure will be. This has NEVER been a worry for me in pregnancy - it's always been a MAX of 120/80, and usually around 110/60. This whole pregnancy, the top number has been between 120 and 130 for my prenatals, although when I went to the GI specialist, it was "normal" for me (around 110/60). I think it's because going to that office has me really anxious, after my loss, but eventually I'm afraid they're going to start flagging me if it doesn't start coming up normal.

Next d/a: Thursday for anatomy scan and d/a with midwife. Yay, get to (hopefully) confirm the gender! (Please cooperate, little guy!)

In my case they set my EDD at Oct 21 based on my LMP then the US showed him due on the 25th, but they didn't change it bc it was only off by 4 days. Eight weeks later at my anatomy scan EDD measured as the 20th, but we still stuck with the 21st. US is a great tool, but there is plenty of room for error when it comes to measurements so they usually go by your dates unless it's way off:)

Trigger: I know how you feel about the girl who was due 2 wks from you. One of my two best friends was due 10 days from my EDD with my loss. I ended up getting a 11 days after he was born. I don't think she ever understood how hard it was for me to throw her a shower and then later sit in the waiting room for 13 hrs waiting for her to have him bc she asked me to be there. (though I did suspect I was pg at that point and turned out to be right:)) She has no idea that I smiled and hugged her and said how beautiful her son was then walked straight to the bathroom and sobbed. The mile stones are hard, but it made me feel stronger and more confident each time I got past one. I passed my initial EDD and the 8.5w mc point all on the same day while simultaneously waiting for labs to come back bc I wanted to check them b4 making my "real" apt. That was a rough week. I remember driving home thinking that everything had been fine, but now they had my blood sample which meant they could call with bad news at any moment. The anniversary of our actual mc was better though bc I was 6 mo pg at that point and since we mc'd on our wedding anniversary, I focused on that instead of the loss. You are moving right along Heather and you'll be feeling that LO in no time:) then you can get a little reassurance each day:)

Gosh I hope the time goes by faster so I can start to feel the LO. I think that will help a lot. I was always worried when they took my blood too. I don't know if I could have been as strong as you with waiting for her to deliver her LO. I am a people person and a very caring one at that. I would do pretty much anything for anyone but I couldn't even go to my friends baby shower because it hurt to much.I will actually be out of town/state when my first ends on a business trip so atleast that will go by fast. I leave sunday and come back wed of next week (tuesday being 13w). So It should go by fast. Then I come back for 10 days and then will be gone 4 days. And a lot of you guys will be geting to meet your LO's in between which is exciting. One nice thing about being pregnant this time around is I will find out what I am having around thanksgiving(either that week or the week after). Just trying to stay positive.

Lynnae & Baby Boy (we're getting closer on a name!!! narrowed down to just a few now!!!)

36weeks (as of yesterday)

w/g: about 35lbs (more than I ever expected but I'm feeling & looking good still)

s/c: I am excited because tomorrow at my appt I can finally answer 'yes' to all those questions MW has been asking me: increased discharge, increased pelvic pressure, lol. People have been telling me for just over a week that I look like I have 'dropped' & I totally believe them because, WOW, I can feel that pressure down there! On the bright side of that- I've hardly had heartburn for a couple weeks & he doesn't jab my ribs as often or as hard since 'dropping'. (also on the bright side haven't had RLP in forever). I have had a bit of a sour stomach lately, I know a bunch of women have nausea return, but it's just sour for me. BHC are a lot stronger, but still not painful. Baby moves all the time still, not that I think he's moving more but more like he's so big now I feel his every move
I also swing between being extremely tired & having a huge burst of energy, guess I'm getting excited

other: had an awesome shower this weekend, my lil sis kept telling me how jealous she was of all the stuff I got compared to her shower last year. A lot of that is simply because of how many people I work with every week as a personal trainer/aerobics instructor, I just know a ton of people! Made me feel special to know that I not only impact them health wise, but we connect as friends.

next d/a: tomorrow (10/5) she'll make sure boy is head down (I'm quite certain he is) & do the GBS (hopefully not misplace it like Noelle's, lol) & check for any progress.
I know so many women who are 'over' being pregnant by this point, but I am still loving it!