Pregnancy: After Loss Community

[TRIGGER] 2 minutes ago Goodbye. *TRIGGS* hlvmom10 posted: On March 14th we went in for our first ultrasound. I was so excited, I had made it to 11.5 weeks, after a m/c in sept 2011.

My vitals were great, everything on the outside looked perfect.

The image came up on the screen of a beautiful little baby, all i could think about was how happy I was to be seeing this littler person, and how much he/she looked like Hausten (ds) when we had an ultrasound with him at 11 weeks. Then my Doctor pointed to the screen and said," Britt this is where the heartbeat should be...and I don't see one.." He took a few more minutes to keep searching and couldnt detect one. I couldnt look at the screen anymore. DH just held my hand as a nurse took DS out of the room to look at the fish.

My wonderful doctor gave me the choice of letting it happen naturally or to schedule a D&C. After my tramatic m/c in sept i decided to have a D&C done the next day.

I arrived at the hospital at 5am on 3.15.12 and was taken to surgery at 7:30am. My doctor told me and my DS and Mom it would take about 15 minutes.

I wake up to my doctor checking my eyes and asking me if i knew who he was. He told me I had lost alot of blood .at least 1/2 gallon and more and I was in some trouble and told me to be very still.

I got into the recovery room and was literally put on my head..the bed was tilted all of the way back..so the blood that i did have in my body would be sent to my brain and heart. I remember feeling really tired and couldnt stay awake, I remember a nurse scream for a doctor and I could see my b.p was 60/40 and a heart rate was 125 ..then i blacked out again.The next thing i remember was a nurse grabbing my arm and reading off some letters...I was getting a blood transfusion. I dont know much about blood counts but I know that at that time my count was a 4 and it is supposed to be 11-12. After 9 hours I finally was able to sit up while the 4th bag of blood was being hooked up to my IV. I have so many mixed emotions. I am sad about loosing my baby , I am so scared that if i had chosen to do it naturally I could have died at home.

I am now on bed rest at home. My doctor calls every 8hours to check on me. Strict bed rest. No lifting anything heavier than a bottle of water. My DS is so confused but understands i dont feel good so he's been laying with me watching home movies. My blood count is still low, as of yesterday it was an 8. I see my Dr. next week for more blood work and tests. He told me he couldnt get my uterus to start contracting..it took him 30 minutes to stop the bleeding. I asked him if I would be able to have anymore kids, he told me not to worry about that right now, I just need to focus on getting well and bulding my blood supply up again.

The ultrasound on weds showed that the little baby had fluid in the chest cavity. So my sweet baby didnt suffer and went peacefully.

I almost made it to my 2nd trimester. That is what is killing me. I almost made it. I am so greatful however that I was able to love and care for that little angel for as long as I could and that I have another angel looking after me..and DH and DS. It still hurts, I am in alot of pain both mentally and physically. But .. Im just greatful to be alive to care for my DS.

Love to you all.

Britt.