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Want to try again...need advice, support or just a slap in the face...
sambosilver posted:
[TRIGGER] My husband and I can't seem to decide what to for now, we're throwing caution to the wind.
I've had 2 miscarriages in the last couple years. With the last one I had to get a D&C, which I really didn't want. The first one was extremely difficult for so many reasons. We tried for almost 5 years to get pregnant with no luck. Then as soon as we stopped trying, I got pregnant. I lost the baby at 12w and passed everything on my own. It was extremely painful, like going through labor all over again. The 2nd one was also not planned, but we didn't think we'd get pregnant either.
I have 2 sons. One will be 18 in a week. The other will be 11 in August. I'm only 36 but sometimes I feel like it's just too late for me. We really want to try again but the same thoughts keep getting in the way. We're no spring chickens. My husband will be 39 in November. That would make us 55 and 57 (roughly) when a potential new baby would graduate from high school. My husband thinks that's, 2 feet from the grave age. I'm a little more optimistic than that. And isn't it that 18 years in between that count the most anyway?
After the last MC, I was extremely emotional and said I wanted to do whatever it took to make sure that never happened again. If that meant one or both of us getting 'fixed', so be it. My husband pleaded with me to reconsider or at least, not make the decision while I was feeling so emotionally wrecked. I'm glad he did that because now, I want to try again. But we're a little scared. I don't know what to do.
I guess I'm putting this on here to see if anyone is in a similar situation. If you're here, you're obviously trying to get pregnant . So how did you overcome the fear of the possibility of another MC? Fear of being an older parent? Fear of being high risk because of age and past complications? Fear of missing the only opportunity we might have left to try again? Ugh....
jedmonds12 responded:
[TRIGGER] I'm sorry for your losses... that's hard to deal with, we all know. FWIW, I don't think you're too old to try again. Having older parents at high school graduation isn't concerning to anyone I don't think. Having already had children, you know what it's like to take care of a newborn and chase a toddler, help with homework, and drive them to all their after-school events. If you and your husband feel like your family isn't complete yet, by all means, keep trying. While we were ttc after our loss, I joined the TTCAL board here on WebMD. There's a bunch of really supportive, wonderful women there who are also trying to conceive after a loss, or thinking about it. Hopefully you're able to connect with others there who have the same fears and hopes.
Julie (28) DH (36).
^i^ May 2010
PAL grad! DS Kawika born 4/25/11
EDD 10/7/12, Blue Team!

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