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I want another baby but I'm scared...a little long...
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sambosilver posted:
I have an 18 year old son, a 11 year old son (in August) and I'll be 37 next month. I miscarried in 09 and again a few months ago. My husband and I thought we were ok with 'not' trying again and just being happy that we have healthy kids. But I want another baby. I go over all the things that would typically stop me from wanting to try again and every time I end up back in the same place, emotionally. My husband tells me he's happy to try again if that's what I want. I want. I really, really want.

We've never actively tried to get pregnant. I guess you could say we just got lucky. I never tracked my ovulation days. I never even knew the length of my periods for sure because I didn't keep track. I have no idea how the whole basil body temperature plays a part or how to calculate. All I know is that there are approximately 3-5 days when I'm the most fertile so those are the days I concentrate on. I had some female issues that my GYN suggested I get checked out a year and a half ago, or so. He thought it might be PCOS. It turned out to be Adenomyosis. I think that's how you spell it. It's a little like Endometriosis but it's inside the walls of the uterus. He said it wouldn't stop me from getting pregnant if that's what I wanted. I also had breast implants in 2008 and they went through the belly button. That's 2 belly button surgeries in a couple years. Would scar tissue be a problem?? We've been trying since April/May this time around. Maybe, subconsciously I feel like my body is trying to tell me it's too late (the 2 losses). I had my first child at 18 and now I feel like I'm too old or something. Out of eggs? Dried up? Internally unfit to carry another child? All I know is I feel like time is running out and I really want to have one more child. My heart hurts at the idea that it's too late. I guess I'm writing about it to get support, hear stories from you ladies about how you didn't give up and got your wish. Am I crazy for wanting another? Please share your stories with me and give me some hope....
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hgreenwood7058 responded:
You are not crazy first off and I am sorry abotu your recent losses as well. I have PCOS (diagnosed at age 14) and was told I may never have children but they put me on birth control and said if I wanted a chance I would need to stay on it till i was ready for kids because anytime I would be off of it the PCOS would flare and i would also get hemorraghic cysts so they were also worried about scar tissue. I had a laparoscopy (surgery through the belly button) at age 15 and 17 and I also have had to deal with multiple pelvic infections. One being at 17 (which is why it let to surgery because they didn't know what was causing it and antibiotics even through the picc line didn't help) and the most recent infection was an endometrial infection after my m/c in feb 2011. Thankfully the birth control (after multiple tries to find one that worked) kept my female organs in okay shape till I stopped it in sept 2010. Then I had to keep track of my cycles. As I said I got pregnant in jan (well sometime between november and jan. I had irregular cycles from the pcos and it was CD58 that I learned I was pregnant) and then I m/c in feb. I was given the okay to start trying again right away while my body was still semi okay. I was able to successfully conceive again after almost 6 months. I used OPK's, tracked my cycles, my fertility signs and all of that. I even used the BBT thermometer on the last cycle. I was due April 17th of this year and gave birth after 36 hours of labor and an emergency c-section on 3/31/12 and have a healthy little boy who will be 4 months old next week. I am 25 but with the PCOS its like having an older body since it really doesn't act right. I am hoping that my body will continue to participate with this new birth control so that I can try for one more in about 2 years.I know its hard to be positive sometimes but if this is something you really want then go for it. Its not too late. Yes your eggs are aging but you still have a shot if you choose. Oh and I forgot to mention they thought I had endometriosis at 15 as well but they didn't diagnose me because i was so young. I hope and wish the best for you. Also there is an awesome group called trying to conceive after loss on here. I was there during my journey and they are an amazing group and know how you feel because they are on the same journey. Huge support system. Just thought I would mention it in case you may want to join them as well. Take care.
Heather(24),DH Lee(25). PCOS w Hemmoragic cysts. BFP:1/23/11 M/C 2/10/11. Carson Lee born 3/31/12. Love this little man with all my heart
 
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sambosilver replied to hgreenwood7058's response:
Thank you so, so much for sharing your experience and you story with me! I'm so sorry you've had to go through so much, especially at such a young age. But I'm really happy that you have your little miracle! Your amazing story really does give me hope. I do visit the group you mentioned. I think I posted in there after the first mc. I won't give up hope, that's for sure. Thank you, again and God Bless!!!


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