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At an impossible impass
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MelBrody posted:
Hello ladies, I know I should be posting a happy Monday update but I am not feeling really happy right now........ I am currently playing hookey from work because the thought of going in today made me want to cry an then vomit in that order...... So here I sit eating pizza and drinking caffeinated soda... 2 things I really shouldn't be ingesting and not feeling much better for staying home only more building anxiety that every passing hour bring me closer to tomorrow when I must return to work. Things at my job were not great before my pregnancy but I make the money. My husband is great and he works but he does not make enough to support us on his own plus I need the insurance for baby Clark's delivery and therefore cannot stop working at any point. I cannot even take a small vacation because I need all my vacation time for my un paid maternity leave. So now, and after maternity leave I must work. I am the definition of burnt out here...... I won't go into the details but my work is very high pressure dealing with a boss who only sees my pregnancy as an obstacle and excuse to not work as hard or as much. I don't want to go back but I have to...... Anyone been in the position before? How do I shake this awful feeling and stress? I know this has to be bad for my pregnancy.... Help?
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hgreenwood7058 responded:
Hugs. I know how that is. Prior to going on maternity leave I was very burnt out. Partly because I was so tired and partly because my bosses boss was being a pain (he actually was let go while I was on maternity leave and everyone was happy about that aparently. He was nice as long as you didnt work for him). He was just constantly at you to do things in super fast time that takes time and effort and would make you feel bad if you couldnt get it done. He made a few of the gals here cry. I had to go back to work when carson was 9 weeks old (1 week of it I was in the hospital though). I had saved up as much sick time and vacation as i could. Sick time can be used for maternity leave which was nice. I would have normally only got 6 weeks but because I ended up with a c-section I got a little longer. But as soon as my PTO ran out I had to come back. I can't afford unpaid leave because I make about $10 an hour more than my husband and my checks go to most of the bills. And now we had a mortgage payment as well. I hope that once you have your LO you will be able to relax a little while you have your time off even though it can be hard. But once you see your LO's sweet little face things seem to just go away (until you get closer to going back to work) Best wishes.
Heather(24),DH Lee(25). PCOS w Hemmoragic cysts. BFP:1/23/11 M/C 2/10/11. Carson Lee born 3/31/12. Love this little man with all my heart
 
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jedmonds12 responded:
I felt that way with my last job. In fact, I kept getting migraines because I was so depressed and angry about my job that it manifested physically. I'm sorry you're feeling this way Thankfully I found a great job and I've been there for 4 years, but I totally know the feeling of just DREADING work.

My only advice is to try to look at the positive aspects, and stay optimistic that something will change. I'm the breadwinner in my house too and it's STRESSFUL being a momma, working full time, and expecting another LO.

Is your work covered under FMLA? If so, consider talking to your doctor about changing your duties or schedule. If you're eligible for FMLA coverage, your employer can't eliminate your position or retaliate against you for anything that happens relating to your pregnancy. They have to hold your job or provide one similar upon your return, and they can't fire you if your doctor writes a letter restricting your hours, days, or duties. I don't know what you do, but it's something to think about. Some money is better than none, and maybe a reduced work schedule would help you not feel quite so burnt out.

I also had to return to work after Kawika was born (9 weeks after) because my short term disability payments ran out and I couldn't afford to take the last 3 weeks of unpaid leave that I was allowed to take. I worked out a part-time schedule with my boss. I was still entitled to 15 days unpaid leave so I worked a reduced schedule, like 3-4 days per week and had 1-2 off, unpaid. It wasn't great, but some money was better than none, and some time at home was better than none. It doesn't hurt to ask your boss what your options are for after your leave. Also, if you haven't, talk to your HR department about what exactly your options are for leave. Info is a great tool (and weapon, sometimes).

HTH. ((BIG HUGS)) Chin up. Before you know it, you'll have your LO, and everything else will seem much, much less important. It's amazing what you can put up with when you've got something so happy in your life.
Julie (28) DH (36).
^i^ May 2010
PAL grad! DS Kawika born 4/25/11
EDD 10/7/12, Blue Team!
 
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MelBrody replied to jedmonds12's response:
Thanks ladies, I just hate feeling stuck.... 1 day at a time I guess..


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