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    Does it really ever go away?
    43Hope posted:
    (I posted part of this on the Monday Updates, but really wanted to get some thoughts/responses)

    TRIGGS: I do not want this to sound insensitive but I am having a hard time reading about other losses right now--it builds up such fear in me--part of me wants to believe I am home free since I have passed my own personal loss milestones, but then I read about someone and I feel scared-not only for me, but even for my sister who is looking to have her first after her loss. I do not know how to balance thinking positively and not worrying with reading about all the things that could still happen. I want to have some sort of detached empathy--so I can provide encouraging words but not take the worry into myself. Maybe I need to stick with the Monday updates and not read anything else. I don't know....

    I cry every time I read the posts, but cannot bring myself to say anything since all I do is get scared.

    Even though I have two beautiful children--both PAL grads in their own right, I am almost more scared this time.

    I had a very stressful moment today and just bawled for about 15 minutes--now I am wondering if I should go see the Doc tomorrow.

    Am I just being insensitive or do I have some normalcy?

    Me (43) DH (43) DD (2000) DS (2008), MC (99,03,06,09), Ectopic (05) BFP 5/31, U/S 7w6d, saw good HB--EDD 2/8/2011
    dino44 responded:
    Hugs to you! I felt the same way sometimes. It gets better and better as time goes on for me. Every once in a while, though, triggs: I think about the ladies that had 2nd or 3rd tri losses, and I freak out again. You are not insensitive. Each of us has our own threshold for what we can handle. Don't feel bad for not being able to handle the heartbreaking stories and only wanting to hear the happy ones. You need hope, and the fantastic Monday updates and watching us all climb up The List is a fantastic way to get that hope. If that's all you can handle, then so be it. Don't feel bad. This is a stressful time for all of us, and we all understand (to some degree) how you feel! More hugs to you!!!!
    Me: Tabatha (28), DH: Paul (29), Angel Baby @ 13 weeks, PAL graduate!!!: Emma 4/3/09, PAL 2: BFP 4/24 keeping our fingers crossed for another Graduate. EDD 12/31/10! Saw hb on 5/17! YELLOW TEAM!
    TeacherBeck responded:
    I have felt the same way, but not as much about this exchange....
    I used to lurk on the "Coping w/Preg Loss" ... it meant a lot to me when we had our loss, and so now I want to be there for others. But as I progress in this pg I have found it more and more difficult to do so without it causing stress and worry for ME for this pregnancy. I feel bad, but I have slacked off on reading/posting on that exchange b/c I feel (for now) I just can't handle all the sadness & loss.
    You are not being at all insensitive. We have been through so much... we are a strong group of ladies :cool: but we all have our limits!!

    I agree with everything dino44 said... lots of hugs to you and you just do whatever HELPS you and skip the rest for now! And personally I will try to be even better about listing Trigs when needed; I am pretty good about doing that but forget sometimes.
    Becky (30) DH (36) BFP April '10 Due Dec 27th 2010! Praying to bring this one home! TRIGS 1 m/c (Jackson, Aug 6th '09). Story in profile.
    MtnPrincess responded:
    Unfortunately I don't think it ever goes away. I'm pregnant with my 3rd PAL baby right now (and I'm gonna be pg forever, lol - I'm at 41 weeks) and just a month ago was diagnosed with PTSD that had to do with my loss and c/s. I've really struggled this pg with fears about the wellbeing of baby. I had a really bad breakdown about 36 weeks and ended up seeking out a councelor to help me and it was the best think I could do for me and this baby. I've been able to calm down and think more positively about things being ok instead of disaster. For me tomorrow is another big milestone as it's when I had my c/s with my DD, but I know I can get through it thanks to my wonderful councelor and DH.

    HUGS Mama!

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