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Confession Time (TMI)
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alb7585 posted:
So now I totally feel guilty over this ... yesterday my doctor took me off pelvic rest. When DF asked I said I was still on pelvic rest because I really don't feel up to sex and I don't want to get molested (so to speak) more than I already am. I am human not a groping thing. I am really pissy with him and feel really bad as it is and now I totally lied. I'm not going to lie to you, I've umm taken care of urges myself if you get the drift but the thought of the energy that goes into the real thing makes me want to go bonkers ... What do you ladies thing I should do? Come clean or just live the lie for the next month??

And just for fun ... any confessions from anyone else this week?
Amanda (25), DF (26) and DS (3). Miscarriage July 2010 and BFP in August 2010. Stick baby!! EDD 05/11/2010
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Starla_94 responded:
LOL Amanda!! i think we've all lied about that :) so don't feel bad!!!! I have NO INTEREST either no urges either.. lolol

i feel guilty cause i know dh "NEEDS" this and this was one of the very things that pushed him to another woman in the past.. (thats another story) So then there is the guilt and pain associated with things related to that time in my life as well. I was pelvic rest with my son the whole time.. i think we went nearly a year.. if not longer..

perhaps next time you have an "urge" you can coax DF :) there are things yall can do without "intercourse" just depends on what you are ok with :) << BLUSHING>> lolol

my confessions are nothing but i've been Eating like a Fricken PIG!!! i'm ALWAYS hungry and now i'm putting on weight.. even the doc noticed.. AHH!!! so much for not gaining much this PG.. lolol>
Christina (34) DH (38)- 1 D/S Oct-2003, M/C April 2010, M/C June 2010 (twins) BFP on 8/15/2010 ~ GreeBean - hoping for a girl! EDD 4/28/2011
 
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dino44 responded:
Don't feel guilty, Amanda! Take the month off if you just don't have the energy. I had no interest until I was like 6 months in. If I had a valid excuse, I would have totally milked it... even if it meant stretching the truth a little. :)

My confession is pretty selfish. My doctor wanted me to gain a pound a week from 29 weeks on. So far, I've only gained a half a pound a week, and I am silently thrilled! Baby is growing just fine, and I am eating well, so no one is being harmed. I just know if I said anything to my family or co-workers they would say, "you're pregnant. You're supposed to gain weight" instead of "way to fight the ice cream temptations". Oh well!
Me: Tabatha (28), DH: Paul (29), Angel Baby @ 13 weeks, PAL graduate!!!: Emma 4/3/09, PAL 2: BFP 4/24 keeping our fingers crossed for another Graduate. EDD 12/31/10! Saw hb on 5/17! YELLOW TEAM!
 
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jedmonds12 responded:
Amanda, I know I'm probably gonna get "yelled at" for this, but... I think you should be intimate with your DF if your doc said it's OK. I know, you don't really feel like it, and you're relieved every night he doesn't "try" something, but... honestly... it's not just about you. You feel guilty so obviously you already know this, but if you two haven't DTD the entire time you've been pg... that's a LONG time for a guy. Just saying. I still don't really feel like it more than once a week, but we DTD a few times a week bc he wants to, and once we get into it I actually enjoy it, so it's not like I'm doing something I totally DON'T want to do.

DF is great in every respect (most of the time!) and he's giving me this amazing gift of getting to be a mom and he's supporting me all the way through... I figure the least I can do is acquiesce to his desires a few times a week.
Julie (27) DF (34). One MC 5/10 at 7 wks. BFP 8/9/10! It's a boy!!! EDD 4/18/11
 
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Starla_94 replied to jedmonds12's response:
LOL Julie! how dare you!! LOL JK :)

in a way i agree only cause i know the bad side of not "giving in" after awhile.. not saying every man is stupid like my hubby was.. and there was more too it as well other addictions came into play there.. but ultimatly he wasn't getting what he needed and sought it elsewhere..

Perhaps amanda be up front that you need to take it Easy.. you've had a rought PG so far and with losses in the past i know the fear of "bumping" things around in there..

that why i suggested you urge him.. but then maybe after let hm know yes its ok but we need to be Gentle and i'm not ready for nightly!!!

but i don't critizize (sp) you for not telling him either :)
Christina (34) DH (38)- 1 D/S Oct-2003, M/C April 2010, M/C June 2010 (twins) BFP on 8/15/2010 ~ GreeBean - hoping for a girl! EDD 4/28/2011
 
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shanastash responded:
hehe, i haven't been on bed rest so i haven't had that excuse...

i wouldn't keep the lie up, but i would somehow "get a phone call" saying that she re-evaluated your situation and you are now allowed off of pelvic rest. but i would still let your fiance know that you have to take it easy and also kinda exagerate that it hurts to move in certain positions...TMI coming up...hehe...

i told my hubby that it hurts to move my hips up (side laying position) so we can't do that...i said it hurts to do missionary (which it does because of the baby's head is RIGHT THERE when he is thrusting!) but it doesn't for doggy...okay, so i exagerated a little but he doesn't know that! he doesn't know the real reason...i don't wanna look at him or smell his stinky breath! and i also told him that my woo hoo hurts so bad because it's swollen so much...again, a little exageration but he doesn't have to know that when he touches me there my skin crawls...

so in the end, he still gets what he wants...and in a way i still do too...i wanna be "close" to him, but... you know!

so i would just exagerate a little but don't keep up the lie.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!...hehe and your fiance!
Shana-27, Darrin-29, angel baby (fishie-14w5d) found out @ 17wks. Dx: MTHFR and FV Leiden. BFP 3.12.10 EDD 11.20.10 PINK TEAM!!! Rx: Lovenox 40 mg, baby asprin, 1000 mcg folic acid, AND PRAYERS!
 
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sarahmhoff responded:
I agree with others that I wouldn't keep up this lie. However, it is completely normal to not want to go there. I haven't been interested in sex at all during this pregnancy, and it's mostly because I've felt like crap almost the entire time. I wasn't able to stop taking zofran until just a few weeks ago (I'm 38w tomorrow!) and by the time I wasn't suffering from constant nausea, I was huge, sore, and uncomfortable.

My husband and I are always 100% honest with each other (which sometimes means that you don't always hear what you want to hear, but we prefer to be able to know that we can always count on each other when we need the truth.) and when I told DH that I just didn't feel up to it, he knew that I would if/when I could. After quite a bit of time went by he spoke up and said he was really suffering, and that we were going to have to figure something out. As romantic as it was, I went along with it for his sake and he made it quick! There is some truth to men "needing" this, but please remember that they don't NEED it multiple times a week. This may sound cold, but they have 2 hands that are very helpful for this problem.

So my advice is this- come clean about your lie, and then explain that you just didn't really know how to tell him that you didn't want to have sex without hurting his feelings or making him feel like you didn't want/need him. Let him know that although the doc approved, that you just really don't have the energy or the drive and just talk it out from there. My DH was always so supportive and understanding that I didn't mind doing it when I didn't feel up to it from time to time, and I ended up enjoying it more times than not.
Sarah (25) and DH (27) We lost our first little one in Jan 2010 at 7w, but were blessed by a BFP after just one cycle. EDD 11/28/10!!! We're on the BLUE team! Praying each day for a PAL grad.


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