went in to my regular scheduled appointment on monday (15th) and was told they were gonna induce that day (or start) because of the lower amniotic fluid issue (i was at a 4.3) and only working on a 2 dialation with just a soft cervix.
started the drug that just softens the cervix at 5:25 pm, monday night. started pitocin at 5 am the next morning. had to start nubain about an hour and a half into that. water was broke at 8 am (darrin woke up to the doc saying she was gonna break it, got up real quick and just in time ONLY heard the gush of water!!!) and needed another dose of nubain about a half an hour later! once that started wearing off, i asked for another dose, but because i was now dialated to a 4, it was time to talk epideral...so i said YES! :) so around 11 am, they bring in THE drugs! :)
i was checked again around 3 pm, still a 4 with an even softer cervix. they said that they can probably stretch me to a 5 even because it was so soft...but baby was still up. no dropping yet.
around 7, they check me again. no change. check me again around 8. no change. told me i was gonna get checked around 10 and have "the talk". at this point, darrin had his dad visiting and decided to take him out to the waiting room because they were checking me...he hadn't come back in so i had to call him to tell him to be back by 10. he was and when they checked again, i FINALLY knew. i had known all along, since they admitted me that the birth was gonna come to a c-section. but the main thing was to keep baby the first thought, me, the 2nd. so i was quite okay with the way it turned out.
i was rolled into the OR at 11 pm. started prepping me. darrin came in around 11:20 ish and i started feeling "definately drugged up!" i was shaking because of the hormones and the drugs...like i was freezing but i wasn't. i kept falling asleep too!!! i woke up to myself snoring a couple of times and the doc and nurses were giggling...it was kinda funny!!! "there's shana, sleeping right through the birth of her baby" was what i kept running through my head! hehe!
Jennaraya Kailani was born at 11:48 pm on November 16th, 2010. When the doc reached out with her to show us, darrin extended his hands to take her...the doc pulled her back and said "not yet". darrin looked down at me and giggled...the docs told him "out of all the years of doing this, you are the first one to try that, are you really excited?" he said "yeah" and we all giggled about it.
she has a great set of lungs on her!!! she kept crying and crying. hehe.
when it was time to roll on back to our room, i was still VERY shakey and chattering my teeth, i was asked if i wanted to hold the baby, i said no ONLY because i didn't think i could hold her i was shaking so bad. i was told no, to take her...so they layed her on my chest and i held her until we got back to the room but then i got even more shakey so i had to have darrin take her. about 30 mins later, i calmed down enough to hold her again and about a half hour after holding her, we nursed.
i have to say, genetics are amazing! she looks just like MY dad!!! but everyday she starts to look like her daddy and like me. i can now say that she has my shape of eyes, darrin's nose from the side, mine from the front, OUR hair color beautifully combined into her own!, his shape of face, my BUTT, his thighs, my torso...it's amazing! :)
TRIGGER what is also amazing is that feeling of love you instantly get. i thank god for that everyday. i know i struggled with bonding with her from the get go because of what we went through, but once i saw her, i was so overwhelmed that even though fishie was on my mind...i thanked god for our loss because fishie wasn't gonna be Raya, and Raya is who we have today...and we couldn't have both. i am incredibally thankfull to have Raya, even if i am now in pain! :) END TRIGGS!!!
Shana-27, Darrin-29, angel baby (fishie-14w5d) found out @ 17wks. Dx: MTHFR and FV Leiden. BFP 3.12.10 EDD 11.20.10 PINK TEAM!!! Rx: Lovenox 40 mg, baby asprin, 1000 mcg folic acid, AND PRAYERS!
Congrats Shana!! You've traveled so far to reach this point and I am so happy that you felt that instant bond with little Jennaraya! I've kept you in my prayers all throughout my pregnancy, and I feel a weight lifted off knowing that the two of you are healthy and safe! It's odd how a stranger's story can touch you in such a way, but I feel like I've been traveling this journey with a friend.
TRIGGER- I know that fishie will always be on your mind, but I'm so touched about your realization that you couldn't have both. I'm not sure why I've never thought of it that way, but I know that as soon as I hold my little boy that's what I'll now be thinking. END TRIGGS
Thank you Shana for sharing your stories. They've touched me, and helped me in more ways than you'll ever know. Congrats again to you and DH!!
Sarah (25) and DH (27) We lost our first little one in Jan 2010 at 7w, but were blessed by a BFP after just one cycle. EDD 11/28/10!!! We're on the BLUE team! Praying each day for a PAL grad.
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your birth story! I'm so glad that everything went well, even if that meant a c-section. I'm glad that your happy and healthy baby girl is here, welcome to the world Jennaraya!
Congrats girl you made it! Welcome Jennaraya! Your momma has been waiting for you!
So funny about your husband reaching for her thats great he was ready to hold that baby!
I am so glad she is here healthy and happy. Bummer about the csection, but hopefully you will heal up quickly. Dont do too much for the next two weeks or so. Mine healed up great and I had no problems.
Triggs - I do understand the bittersweet aspect of your new little one. You love this one and know that you would not have them had it not been for the one that was lost and its a bit conflicting. It never goes away but it gets easier. I had a surge of thoughts and feelings for the one I lost after T was born. Of course you love them right off the bat but it grows more and more every day. Its amazing. As always be kind to yourself as you process everything.
I am so very happy for you guys.
Cris, 31 DH 31 - Ectopic 10/08, m/c 09/09 at 16 weeks unknown cause
1/14 BFP, Due 9/23 its a boy!
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