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How Old Is TOO Old to Have a Baby?
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Sarah McMoyler, RN posted:
New York magazine recently examined this growing phenomenon of - oops, I forgot to have a baby, in their September 25, 2011 cover story: Parents of a Certain Age - Is there anything wrong with being 53 and pregnant?

It is a fascinating look at today's society and the choices women are faced with: advance their career and ignore their biological clock…the human body has an organic deadline called menopause. Physically and emotionally will she be equipped to handle the bumpy road into parenthood while managing hot flashes?

To read the entire article:
http://nymag.com/news/features/mothers-over-50-2011-10/

What do you think? How old were you when you conceived?

Sarah McMoyler RN
www.thebestbirth.com
Reply
 
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phoenix31674 responded:
I do think medical science has gone too far in pushing the age of motherhood past menopause. We have menopause for a reason, the body has said 'Times up'. I had my two kids at 32 and 36. Aside from the fact we think two is a good number and we were blessed with one of each, I feel that at 37 I am too old to go through this all again. It is a minimum 18 year commitment to raising a child and ideally a child should have a healthy and vibrant parent until at least the mid-20s so that they can some help if they stumble early on. If you are 50 and having a kid, that would put you at 75 - which frankly is past the US life expectancy for your generation. How horrible would it be to almost certainly burden your child with having to provide you with end of life care when they are supposed to be establishing themselves in the professional world and finding a suitable mate and possibly starting their own family? Or worse yet, what happens if you pass on while the child is still in school?

While people are living longer and there are those of the boomer generation who have taken care of themselves and are healthier in their 60s and 70s and even 80s than previous generations, there are many more who have chronic and debilitating illnesses. Not to mention that in the case of the mother taking fertility drugs and such to keep the pregnancy can increase the risk of cancer. Look at that poor woman in India who had children at 68 or some such. She was never able to recover from the pregnancy and died when the kids were 3. Same with that Spanish mother.

I do agree that these late in life mothers are being selfish. Like was said, just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. I know we as women were sold the 'do it all' mentality and are being told by science 'motherhood can wait', especially with new egg freezing technology. I think that sort of thing is great for someone who will undergo cancer treatment that risks fertility, but freezing eggs in your 20s so you can have kids in your 40s or 50s - not so much.
 
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ami_nix responded:
I was 36 when I got pregnant with my son, I would like to have 1 more but, will not try after my 41st Birthday. I actually tried to get pregnant in my 20's but, my now ex-husband turned out to be sterile. I don't know how I feel about someone older having children. I feel like I was probably better equipt to handle the lack of sleep in my 20's but, I think I'm a much better mother now than I would have been.
 
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charissahill replied to phoenix31674's response:
I STRONGLY AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID.
DF (27) and I (20) are expecting our first LO 11/26/11. Its a boy! Christian Jonathan Guzman.
 
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An_134461 replied to charissahill's response:
I think it is up to each individual woman/couple. I know women that are 42 and 43 years old in great shape and did rather well after having their children. Some of them didn't get married till later in life also. It was their dream and it came true.
 
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candy352 replied to An_134461's response:
I agree with you. It is an individual decision when a person wants to have a child. Some women don't want to have children until they're married. So if they aren't married at a certain age, does that mean that they need to have children when they are single before it's too late? I'm 26, pregnant with my first and my DF is 37. He didn't think he would be able to have children. So I think of that in another perspective. What about the women that thought they would not be able to have children so they stop taking birth control and then they become pregnant over 50?
 
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kd0erj replied to candy352's response:
Pretty sure the women in the article did not conceive naturally. More power to the ones that do.

I'm of the belief that if you need help conceiving because of infertility issues, then its ok, but waiting too long to conceive is selfish in my opnion. I'm sorry, women can't have it all. I plan to work and raise my child, but I have no illusions about making alot of money, or going back to school anytime in the near future.
 
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ami_nix replied to candy352's response:
I had a similar situation as your DF. I had been married for years and dispite the fact that my ex was sterile and they had found nothing wrong with me, I honestly didn't think I could conceive.. Imagine my surprise when my SO and I got engaged and decided to sleep together and I conceived that same month! I was 36 at the time which is considered advanced maternal age and I had some pretty serious health issues while I was pregnant but, I wouldn't trade the experience or having my precious little man for the world
 
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alittleolder replied to ami_nix's response:
ami_nix..... I thought I was done... two beautiful girls, remarried and now have two more wonderful children. But guess what? God surprised us with a 5th little bundle due this July - six weeks before my 45 bday! Considering my history of 5 miscarraiges, bed rest and c-sections and my husbands history - oh and the fact that I've been menopausal for the last three years - it is really a miracle that we are pregnant at all. A gift to be sure but there is something to be said about being pregnant in your 20s and 30s. Your body is better able to handle all the symptoms that go along with pregnancy. I've never been so sick or tired. Could be my age...
 
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TyneIrish responded:
I think it's ok for older women to have babies if they want to. I just don't feel it's right to let science do it for them. There is a reason women go through menopause. I also do feel that it is kind of selfish, as some have already said, because older parents won't be around as long for their kids and could pass before their kids are out of high school. My dad was 35 when I was born and it made me feel like an outcast because my dad was so old. But, I have also met older couples who though they didn't want kids but later found out they did and they are some of the best and most paitent parents I know. I see pro's and con's to having kids at an older age, but don't let science do it for you. If you're ment to have a kid you will eventually. I have seven years between my two kids and I feel more emotionally and mentally ready this time, but less physically ready. Where as with my daughter I was physically prepared but not emotionally or mentally.
 
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tlkittycat1968 replied to TyneIrish's response:
Just because a person might not be around as long as a younger person might be isn't a good reason not to have kids. There's no guarantee as to how long we'll live so that could apply to pretty much everyone.

I didn't get married until I was 34 and had my first child when I was 38 (DH was 44) and my second when I was 40 (DH was 47).
 
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tams73 replied to ami_nix's response:
I didnt have a child with my first husband and I thought it was me that was why we weren't haveing any children and we split up and I started to sleep with a guy from work and I got pregnant but I lost it, and then I was seeing a guy which is my late husband now and we gotton pregnant and we had our daughter and I was 34 when I had her, now that I am going to be 39 in march, my boyfriend wants to have two kids with me. He already has a son and he wants to add two more to him and mine. Is that too old to have any more?
 
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Sarah McMoyler, RN replied to tams73's response:
39 year old women are accomplishing pregnancy every day- often with the aid of hi-tech...which is fine if you have the financial means. The risks and benefits need to be weighed carefully...recommendation in your case: one pregnancy at a time! Your BF is talking TWO kids...!

Sarah RN


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