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    pregnant and was using bc
    An_250273 posted:
    hello. i dont know what im looking for with posting this, i just need someone to talk to i guess. i recently found out im pregnant. my husband and i were not planning on having a baby any time soon. we have two girls already, 8 and almost 4. i had paraguard, the copper iud, as my birthcontrol. it slid down lower in my uterious however, and now im aprox 5 weeks preggy. when i told my hubby he was not happy at all. to be honest, neither was i. my feelling, it was ment to be, and time to move on and get my head around the idea of having another baby. he however, doesnt want me to keep it. he told me several times i need to get an abortion. that he isnt ready to be a dad again, we dont have the money or room in our house, he wanted us to plan the next one if we had another kid. he thinks i delibertly sabatoged my iud, then he started saying hes not sure its his just because he doesnt remember having sex in the time fraim (i have never cheeted, nor thought of it, so i know its his), and he asked why i wouldnt get an abortion because its not living so its not like im killing someone. i explaned i cant, if there was severe health issues for me or it, yes possibly, but not a healthy growing thing that will be a baby soon. hes mad as can be, and now has somewhat thretend leaving me over this. idk if its a scare tactic to see if im firm on the abortion thing or not. am i that much in the wrong though? i mean, im willing to get a second job to make this financially work, and to rearange a lot of things in the house and such to make the room. but hes made me feel like im horrible for not being willing to get rid of it. im not sure how any of you feel, but i just cant get an abortion. and i explaned that to him when we were just friends (it came up in convo), and then reiterated that several times through our relationship, and he didnt have a problem with it then. im sorry, im not fully sure what the point of this post is, i just... i just feel so alone right now, and i mostly feel like what im doing is right. its once he starts making me feel like crap about it, that i feel bad. with all this going on, i havent told anyone i know about the pregnancy, so i have noone to talk to......
    noodles1738 responded:
    I feel fo you I really do because Im currently confused about having my #2 baby. I have a 7 year old and her dad passed at 2yrsold. If I didnt have my parents to help me I dont know how i wouldve got thru the years. i do work i am in school finishing my masters in summer and was going to look for another job paying more money. My fiancee and I have only been together for a year and he has a 6 year old. He wants me to keep it but Im so afraid. He hasnt had a job since I meet him he just do odds and ends here and there no stable income. Im just so scared and confused and I have to decide by March 1st. I can be here for you to talk to if you want. I dont know what to do, one day I want to have my baby the next day Im like "how can I have a baby by a man with no job". Best wishes in your decision
    sapphirestar replied to noodles1738's response:
    thank you noodles. unfortunetly, im still mostly in the same situation as i was a cupple weeks ago when i wrote this. i still wont end the pregnancy. my decision doesnt have anything to do with religion really, i just personally cant choose to end this ones life, it would emotionally haunt me to the point im not sure it wouldnt send me into a depression or make me hate myself or something. my hubby is still standoffish. he almost never sais anything affectionit to me. he doesnt cuddel back when i try to cuddel with him, i get more affection from my guy friends to tell ya the truth. my hubby just got his own truck (so i could try to find a seocnd job, as he needs a car for work, and him driving me around for work wouldnt work out), and im worried one day im going to come home and find him and his stuff gone, and his "i love you"s dont have any feeling or anything to them anymore. its like hes just saying it out of habit or something. he has way more passion telling the kids he loves them.. but i just cant bring myself to end it even if it ends my marrage...... i know it partially sounds selfish, but.... idk....

    i understand your feeling of "how can i have a baby by a man with no job". its a tough decision for sure! my hubby works speraticly as a game tec, sometimes works a ton of hours, and sometimes makes just about enough to cover his gas and his cigs. perhaps you should tell him if he wants you to keep it, he has to make the effort to be a responcible father for it, and get on the job hunt for something more stable. i mean, lets face it. in both our situations, if a baby comes (i say if sence your still on the edge about it), even a job at mcdonalds working 250-30 hours a week would be better then the next to nothing pay check that speratic work offers at times. i wish i could help you to figure out what to do. or that i had some awesome decision making advice for you. you could try making a list of what it would mean to keep it, or to not keep it. include both financial, physical, and emotonal consequensis (like how you would feel if you terminated, or how you would feel bringing a baby into a very unstable financial situation), and include both good and bad in each list. maybe it will kinda give you a little solid look to help you decide. thats such a close deadline to decide by. if you meditate or anything, maybe you could try to do that, to clear your mind, and then search for the answer to what you should do. if you ever wanna talk, feel free to talk to me if yad like. no matter my take on ending a pregnancy, i wouldnt look down on you if you choose to. just wanted to let ya know. your in a tough spot, you gotta do what is right for you, theres nothing wrong with that.

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