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    Need some help!!!!!!!
    tamyox1 posted:
    My 17 year old daughter told us Thursday that she is 5 months pregnant. The boy's family has known since august and did not let us know. She has not had ANY prenatal care. Of course I made an emergency appointment and had her seen today. My worries are that she did not want me to come in with her and they can't tell me anything because of HIPA laws. I thought that we were close and have ALWAYS told her that she could come to me with anything. But there is this wall of disconnect and I can't reach her... My husband and I are not in a financial position to really take this on and at 17 the 2 of them are not either. So I have been trying to have her think about adoption. And we get the brick wall it is not for me to make her choice and I have stressed that to her. We are so confused and don't want to lose our daughter.Is there anyone out there that can relate to our situation?
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    sam_bam23 responded:
    i was 18 when i conceived and the first thing i did was look for employment i never had a steady job but i have had my job for 5 months now and there keeping me so maybe you should just approuch it differantley drive her to do the things that need to be done like get a job seek asstitance for the government in my state pregnant women get pretty good medical benifits and food stamps help also signed up for housing and got on waiting list for low income apartments just send her in the right way if she doesnt want to do adoption and adoption would be pretty difficult decision even for a 17 year old cuz nobody wants to give up ther own flesh and blood. it is possible for a teenager to work all through there pregnancy i have a small frame and caring around this baby kills me but i remind myself i need the money to suuport my little family im 8 months pregnant and use to weigh 105 pounds and now weigh 135 and was working 40 hour weeksintill just a couple weeks ago. and if anything that boyfriend of hers needs to man up lol mine didtn intill he relized i was pregnant and able to work.she just needs to be talked to about the realities of pregnancy and life
    sam_bam23 replied to sam_bam23's response:
    alos i found it harder to tell my mother inlaw afraid of her not being as excepting or being overly stressed out i found out it was just all in my head.try being more understanding not saying your not be cuz i havnt heard the whole story but thats all i needed to feel more open with my mother in law tell her how you feel
    tamyox1 replied to sam_bam23's response:
    Thank you for your post. we are reeling still... I have always talked about sex a as a woman YOU need to protect your self. But this is happening and her Dad and I don't have the right to tell her what to do but, we want her to realize it's not like on TEEN MOM and it isn't EASY........ Most of all we love her but money is hard for us right now and we want to to have a plan.....
    GOOD LUCK and I hope you have someone there for you.......
    tamyox1 replied to sam_bam23's response:
    Thank you for your response and thoughts we are just trying to gather info.....
    Good luck to you and thank you
    sam_bam23 replied to tamyox1's response:
    lol yes those shows are quite ridiculous lol its like get real those teen moms seem like there in it for the spot light and drama..not knowing that cant live off there parents forever lol and you are welcome i was hopeing my advice would be helpful
    hopeful_moma responded:
    i can't relate but i do have some advice. think bout the long term effects. you are talking about her child. in the meantime until you get can get able financially to help,you can always get gov. assistance....
    brmaggard replied to tamyox1's response:
    To me it doesnt sound like it had anything to do with being distant to you too. It sounds more like she felt like she let you down and wants to be a good person. adoption isnt for everyone because of the emotional trauma that comes along with it.
    missashley1010 responded:
    I want to say tho im 21 I was kinda in your daughters position. When I found out I was pregnant I did tell my mom because she and I are very close. But I didnt want to tell my dad...its sad to say but I wasnt going to tell him till after I gave birth. My parents are not together but my mom felt like she needed to tell him, it wasnt that me and my dad arnt close but I was always so good in his eyes and I just felt like I would disapoint him so I didnt want to tell him. Now he knows he is being supportive although he isnt very happy. I think if you just keep positive with her and be supportive she will come to you. Finacially I do have a very good paying job for not having a college degree but my BF dosnt have a job and I dont think he will get one for awhile he kinda is lazy...but thats beside the point I got on assistance for medical and for houseing the wait can take a little while but if she gets on it right away she has a good chance of getting help before the LO arrives. I guess dont pressure her to do anything she will regret for life but the fact she is 5 months along she does need to face some realities and quick. I agree with the whole teen mom thing although I love that show it is not any type of reality it is drama and not realistic at all. That show is making teen pregnancy more commin that it should be. Good luck with everything. HTH

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