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Don't like my OBGYN
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jammie311 posted:
Please bear with the long post,lol. I have a question at the end, if you get that far haha. My doctor turned out to be the woman who delivered my son in 2004, which was awful! She made me have a c-section which I feel was unneccasary and I've decided I don't really like her. I gave her a chance and had 2 appontments to see if she would be different than I thought.She has no time for me and acts like it. She doesn't discuss anything at all! Gives bare minumum answers during the 10 minute appointments she gives, and I want to feel comfortable talking to my doctor, not like I'm a burden,lol. And besides she sacred me twice! She cut off my 1st prenatal appt. didn't even finish it because she did a transvag US and saw the baby but no heartbeat at 6 weeks and I'd had some brown spotting, so she sent me for a better US and acted pretty grim about it and said "if" they can see a heartbeat then she'd see me after that. Then when I asked her yesterday if the 100BPM's on the 6 week US (they saw the heartbeat!) was a good heartbeat she said no it was pretty low, but she'd see how it went, then did the doppler after that, told me it was "in the 160's" and that was good. I researched it~ 100 BPM's for 6 weeks is good!! why did she tell me that? I'm hoping that this other practice will accept me! I'm going there on the 19th to have a VBAC consultation (to see if I'm a good candidate for one) and I hope they say I can have a VBAC so I can see a new OBGYN,lol. Plus that way I have a reason for switching. But if they don't I'm thinking I should switch doctors anyway~ what do you think? If they say no VBAC at the further away practice, i'll come back to this one which is much closer to me~how should I switch doctors without being rude to her? I don't think she means to be like that, we just don't see eye to eye and I want a more attentive doctor....any suggestions? Thanks in advance!!
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dwaw02 responded:
I would just switch and not worry about being rude to her. Are you going to see her regularly (like in regular life) after you switch docs? If not I wouldn't worry about being rude - just giving her a taste of her own medicine, imo. You need to be happy with your doc - that s/b the only reason you need. Plus, you don't owe the other doc an explanation at all; if she actually thought to ask (which I doubt) just tell her that you wanted a doc that was more attentive and didn't rush through the appts. Being honest is best, and chances are there are quite a few women there who feel as you do.
 
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peachyisthelife responded:
The practice I used for my first child was just as you described. All the doctors in the office acted as if I was burden, never asked if I had any questions, I always felt like asking questions was a bad thing to them. Then for my 2nd child I switched to a new practice, I love it so much better! And of course I'm using that one for my 3rd pregnancy. Many of the doctors actually ask me if I have any questions at the end. They rarely run late so I'm in and out pretty fast. I just love it. If you're not happy-then switch. Good luck!
 
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UGAmomof2 responded:
Hey Jammie :smile: I am in the health care field and I will tell you that if you are not happy with your doc you need to switch. The doc would even tell you that. It used to upset me so much when we would have patients who didn't agree with the doc and then keep coming in to be seen by them. The doctor didn't like it either and sometimes dismiss them from the practice. ONLY because a good doc relationship should go both ways. I think it's really important to be on the "same page" as your OB and your birthing plan. If medically the doctor doesn't like it than that is acceptable, but otherwise you always need to agree. I trust my OB 100%. What he says goes AND I know if I had questions he would set me down and discuss them with me. He is FABULOUS and (unfort) great looking...lol. He has took care of me through all my pregnancies and even schedules me to induce when he is at the hospital. If you go to the other practice and they so no VBAC you need to ask why medically. Also, really talk to the new OB and see if you like his/her "bedside manner". GL and let me know how everything goes!!!
 
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WorryGirl80 responded:
Jammie, I'm so sorry about your experience, but if she isn't considerate of your feelings, why should you?!?! In my opinion, try to find another doctor and have them request your medical records to be transferred once you've settled in. Good luck.
 
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abs6angels responded:
Girl, you don't owe that b**ch anything!!! Switch immediatly!!! She will soon figure out why her practice is going down hill, cause I'm sure she does that with everyone. You wouldn't put up with a hairdresser like that would ya?? GL :)
 
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jammie311 responded:
Thanks for all the replies ladies! I was feeling a bit bad about calling the other day to request my birth records from them so I could go to the VBAC consult, lol. I hope they send them in time! I hope this doc says yes so I can switch to him (yeah it's a guy, i've never had a man OB/GYN, scary! lol) But you're right I should feel comfortable~ I guess I was also put off b/c I read my file (they left it there accidentally) and it had a note that was nasty about me! I called when I was 5 weeks and asked if it was normal for my heart to skip beats then pound hard and make me feel breathless~ if it was pregnancy related or if I should be concerned and see a doctor about it, they told me that it happens, but not that early so to go see a "regular" doc so I said "okay,thanks!" Well, the note said "paitent has a myriad of problems already at only 5 weeks, CLAIMS heart is beating fast and skipping beats, told her to see a PCP if it was a concern to her" made it sound like I was making up a ton of problems~ which made me mad as hell! one question does not indicate a myriad of problems,lol. And "claims" in bold print seems like she meant I was faking? maybe I read into that one though,lol. Thanks again for the advice girls!!!
 
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danajen responded:
Jammie311 Well I completely agree with you! She seems absolutely awful! Even if she does not mean to do all what she did she is still an incomplete professional. There is no excuse in my opinion. She gets paid a lot of money and had a lot of schooling. She should be at her best with EVERYBODY. Please don't feel guily/bad about having to switch. This is your life and your baby. You need to do whats best for you. You should not have to come up with some big excuse either. Not only it's not really her business, but you really shouldn't have to explain yourself to anybody. Especially when you are the one dishin out money to these professionals. Me in this situation..... I'd just tell the truth as to why you're switching in a short and sweet version. It would be nice if you only had to talk to the receptionist...this way questions are cut to a minimum lol Either way your choice! However, I'm a straight forward bold type of person so this would be easy for me. Good luck Let us know how it goes. On the same note........ My husband and I are giving my OB one more shot! We had our first appt. with her Friday and I sensed bad....I got a bad vibe. We have agreed to see her a couple more times. So I might be rockin in the same boat as you!!!!
 
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Stinamac responded:
SWITCH now!! I would recomend trying a mid_wife. I have had all three of my boys delivered by a mid-wife and at our local hospital(s). They have been open honest and down right loving twards me and my baby. All of them now!!! :) They have time in each appoint to go over the growth of your baby since your last appointment. Talk about any thing you may be wanting to talk about and answer all questions in your language so you know exactly whats going on with your baby and yourself the whole way through! Also most midwives will not insist on another c-section inless turly dangerious for you or the baby. So you would possably have a whole other birth experience and wouldnt that be great for you? :)
 
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KityKatK8 responded:
My midwife has had women switch over at like 30-36 weeks, so I don't think switching Drs is all that odd. Definately find someone you connect with. I interviewed drs before I even got pregnant and I was really happy with the midwife I use. Now, they do have 4 midwives in their practice and not all are as wonderful as the lead midwife, but they do take their time with you. GL on finding a good Dr and permission for VBAC!
 
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jammie311 responded:
Thanks girls, I'm feeling much better about switching, I told my husband that when she asked if I had any questions she said like "please don't have any" and when I pulled out a list she actually seemed unpleased! So I put it back and asked only 2 questions,lol I'm usually so outspoken! I guess she intimidates me due to the birth of my son =( it's odd b/c she'll be so nice, but rushed, then bam! does something to make me angry,lol. I've hear wonderful things about midwives! I for some reason thought I couldn't have one since I had a c-section i'll totally look into that~ it sounds more my style, doctors made me angry a lot of the time haha. after I do the VBAC consult i'll know if i'm staying with new OBGYN or shopping around for another one...oh joy,lol I hope he just says I cn have a VBAC! problem solved X's 2! :pbpt:
 
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jammie311 responded:
Thanks! I hope you either A~find out your first impression just wasn't that good and your OBGYN is actually awesome or B~ you find a really god new Dr =) good luck!!
 
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sjhanson06 responded:
hi Jammie, I am going to say this... I don't care if this is all in your head and you are being "over sensitive" if you don't like your doctor then you don't like him/her... whether it's OB/GYN, family doctor, whoever... at the end of the day these ppl work for you... you are the customer and you should feel satisfied.... You have to feel comfortable and happy not scared.... so go with you gut. In my opinion.. if I had any uncertainty about my doctor, whether it's because they move to fast, are always late, seem unconcerned, won't answer my questions, seem like they have an attitude... I changed doctor's once because I didn't like that my old doctor told me I worried too much, I was so upset that I told him um excuse me but I don't know you, trust you and I don't think you know everything because you're a doctor.... you have right to as picky as you want to be. You don't have to be rude to state your preference when I switched doctor's I already had in mind the other person I was going to pick and I spoke side bar with the other dr (interview style).... I wrote a note stating that I felt that me and the doctor I wanted to switch to would be more compatible... she works longer hours and has more a flexible schedule. And my current doctor does 45 minute appt so that you have time to ask questions.... she has a conversation style approach and if you leave and she felt like you didn't ask her any questions she will ask you some. I think you know what you want... go find that doctor.
 
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smlkjl responded:
i would definitly switch!!! sounds like when she realizes that you've left her she won't seem to care anyways! i can't imagine that kind of relationship with your doc. this is such an important time in you and your baby's life and you want to feel like you are getting the proper amount of attention that you think is appropriate. this kind of doctor might be okay for some woman, but clearly not you (and honestly, I wouldn't like it either!). I absolutly LOVE my ob/gyn and i travel about 40 minutes to get to her and i refuse to switch because i had such a great experience with her with my first pregnancy. i really think having a great doctor just adds to the whole experience of being pregnant and the birthing process. please switch.... don't worry what she/he will think. its just not worth it. YOU need to be happy! wouldn't it be great to look forward to going to your doctor!?! best wishes!
 
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jammie311 responded:
wow you girls sound like you have awesome doctors!! that's great. my first OBGYN was sooooo great as well, but she wasn't on call when I went into labor so this lady delivered my son, I think it would've been different had my regular doctor been there! I have no clue why they gave this dr. my old doc's place when she left....she must've moved far away because I can't find her,lol. I can't wait to meet this new OB and see what he's like, I hope he's good and nice! If not I will search for one I like, or try to find a practice with a midwife there...they sound nicer and more patient =) I like to take my time at prenatal appts.


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